


Querencia

by Ashcat252



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Consensual Sex (Sean and Finn), Finn's Past Sexual Abuse, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Masturbation, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape, Rimming, This is in Finn's Point of View, implied Daniel/Chris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-27 06:53:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20403502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashcat252/pseuds/Ashcat252
Summary: Finn was many things. A close friend, an even closer lover, and a natural born liar. That boy could lie so easily, like it was nothing to him. But one thing was for certain: hetriednot to be that way. Specifically for Sean.Sean was his soft spot. The only one he could truly be weak with. He knew Sean wouldn't tell a soul just how weak he could be; wrapped up in his arms, telling him how his father hurt him that day. That was exactly why he loved him. Sean didn't have to know that little detail though.. not yet anyway.-~An alternate universe where Finn and Sean fall in love~





	Querencia

Finn McNamara was many things. A close friend, an even closer lover, and a natural born liar. That boy could lie so easily, like it was nothing to him. But one thing was certain: he_ tried_ not to be that way. Specifically for Sean. And Diaz had to see that. Finn hoped he could see the effort in his eyes, the tightness in his voice as he'd try his best to be vulnerable and honest for him.

Sean was his safe place. For whatever reason, that kid was able to waltz into his life and tear down his walls like no one else. The only one he could truly be weak with. He knew Sean wouldn't tell a soul just how weak he could be; wrapped up in his arms, telling him how his father hurt him that day. That was exactly why he loved him. Sean didn't have to know that little detail though, not yet anyway.

In their friend group and just the community around them, it had been common knowledge that Finn and his family were bad news. They lived on the outskirts of town on a big lot and everyone knew what they did for a living wasn't exactly legal-but everyone kept their distance. Because of that, Finn didn't have many friends at first. That was until a group of a foster kids rolled into town. Cassidy, Hannah, Penny, Jacob, and even two Swedish immigrants named Ingrid and Anders.

They were the only people who understood. They became his family. That had been years ago, before Sean came around.

If anyone had told him that he'd become friends with someone like Sean.. someone from an actual happy home.. he'd laugh straight in their face. People like that didn't understand people like them. They didn't understand why he looked the way he did or why he talked the way he did, or even why he acted the way he did.

But Sean did. From the moment Finn's curious eyes landed on the hot new kid in town, he could sorta tell Diaz was different. He seemed genuinely kind. He sat with the quiet kid on his first day, Lyla Park. It was the first time he ever saw her smile.

And then at the end of that day, from across the parking lot, Finn could see him helping his little brother into the backseat of his two door car. Watched as he ruffled his hand through the little kid's hair before finally shutting the door. He couldn't feel weird for staring. Not then that moment. Seeing him take care of his brother was.. was insanely attractive for whatever reason.

It was that moment that Sean looked up and finally saw him for the first time. He looked over from across the parking lot and Finn knew he was able to see him standing against the wall with his band of diverse little misfits. He waited for the sneer, the turn of his nose at the joint between his fingers-

But there was none. Sean just smiled and waved. That smile made a warm feeling fill the pit of tattooed boy's stomach. He knew what was coming almost instantly. The upcoming obsession. It was one of his many flaws. Seeing someone like Sean, someone beautiful.. It was gonna eat at him until he had that boy in his hands.

Of course, he didn't know at the time that he would fall completely in love with him. If he did, he probably would have never said hello. He wouldn't have let himself open up like that if he knew. But how could he have known? He couldn't, and so he made a mental note to talk to Diaz the next day. He sauntered up to the locker of his current obsession and just as coolly said, "Hey. You're the new kid, right?"

Sean blinked up at him with slight confusion and hesitation, but it only lasted a second before he answered, "_Sí, señor._ That would be me." His brown eyes ever playful. A smirk played at Finn's lips as he invited him to go to his party that he was having that following weekend.

Sean actually looked pretty stoked about it. Finn loved the enthusiasm a little too much. He clung to it until the weekend, until he had Sean right beside him at the bonfire. Finn couldn't help but notice Sean was a little guarded about his life as Cassidy talked him up about his old home in Beaver Creek. He was vague with his answers and politely changed the subject. It all just made him more mysterious and even more attractive to Finn.

It also made him wonder if he assumed wrong. That maybe Diaz's life wasn't as happy as he thought. He wouldn't dare ask-not then anyway. Finn just watched him as he took a hit from the bong. He was pretty good at that, didn't choke once. Must've been a party animal back in Beaver Creek.

Though he couldn't bring himself to ask, he wanted to know every detail about the boy. The attraction wasn't inherently sexual-though it could very well be that way if Sean so desired-it was something completely different from what Finn was used to.

He wasn't used to shy eyes looking up at him from a sketchbook as the weeks passed. Wasn't used to wanting to wrap his arms around somebody, especially after those nights where his brothers weren't around to protect him from his father. He pushed it down until he couldn't anymore, stupidly calling Sean and asking if he could chill with him.

He knew his voice shook when he asked, "h..hey, man. Wanna chill for a little.. while?" Finn could hear the question in Sean's voice, are you okay? But he never let it out, much to Finn's appreciation. He only answered in his usual playful demeanor,

"Sí señor. Any time." _Any time._ Those words left a lump in Finn's throat, like there was a promise there or something but he made himself not look too deeply into it. He went over to Sean's house for the first time that night, not at all surprised by the suburban neighborhood. He did a silent fuck you to the hillbilly named Brett next door, which made Sean let out a good laugh.

Finn liked seeing him laugh. It made him feel a little better, but not enough to forget the ache where is father grabbed him a little too hard. He knew his face must've looked pretty strained but thankfully Sean didn't ask, though he could tell the beautiful boy wanted to. Diaz led him inside and Finn was also thankful that Mr. Diaz wasn't in sight. He was in no mood to be charming.

It was pretty late so he figured everybody in the house was sleeping. Except for Sean of course as he opened in his bedroom door. He turned on some music at a low volume, it filled the room and took over Finn's senses. Suddenly all he could smell was Sean's space and it made him wanna bolt-but he didn't. He just watched as Sean stuffed towels underneath the crack of his door and opened his window.

"Sit." Sean patted the spot beside him on his bed and Finn couldn't refuse. It felt almost dangerous sitting next to him, especially since he accidentally sat too close. There was a part of him that just wanted to kiss him and have his way with him, have Sean take his mind off how his sides were already bruising because of his father's boots.

It didn't feel right to use Sean like that. He guessed he should always feel that way 'cause using people was wrong-he should feel bad about it. Finn couldn't feel stuff like that. He was broken but he knew that for once he would feel bad if he did that to Sean.

So he just took a long hit from Sean's weed pipe and let the smoke fill his lungs. He leaned his head back as he released it, welcoming the burn. From the corner of his eye he could Sean looking at him, concern laced in those deep brown eyes. For the first time in a long time, Finn felt vulnerable. Felt the need to talk about the things that kept him up at night.

"I can trust you, right?" Finn didn't look up as the question left his lips. He already knew he could. "Yes, of course." Sean's voice was serious, Finn wasn't used to that either. It made it all too real. He cleared his throat as he sat up straight against the wall, his fingers tight against the pipe, the only thing grounding him in that moment. He knew he should have passed it by then but Sean didn't seem to mind.

"My dad.. he.. he's not, he's.." Finn's words caught in his throat. This whole honesty thing was really hard for him. The feel of Sean's hand against his steadied him, made it just a little easier to say what he needed to.

"My brothers try their best, you know? They try their best to keep me outta his reach at home. They can't be there 24/7, man. I get that. It's just.. it's too much. He.. he used to.." His throat worked as he struggled to get the words out, ".._hurt_ me." _God._ Thinking about how he used to come into his room at night, when he was just a little fucking kid, made bile form in his throat.

"Shit.." Sean cursed under his breath. He tightened his grip around Finn's hand and it was the only thing keeping him from having a full on panic attack.

"Now that I'm.. older.. he just gets tired of me being around. He says I'm..-anyway, I got in his way today while he was working. I don't even know why anymore, I probably needed some cash for weed. He pushed me around a bit." More like pushed him down and kicked his sides, but Sean didn't need to imagine him getting hurt like that. "Just needed to get out."

"Dude, is there a way-_fuck.._ You gotta get out of there. That is not okay." The look on Sean's face was what he didn't wanna see. Pity. Finn only sighed as he ran his thumb over Sean's brown skin.

"It's not that simple. My family.. well.." Finn paused to let out the longest sigh, "there is no getting out." That sure didn't help the look Sean had. "I'll be okay, Diaz."

He could tell Sean didn't know what to say. That was completely fine. Finn didn't think he could continue anymore anyway. He just sat back and intertwined his fingers with Sean's. They didn't really smoke anymore since they couldn't do that with one hand. Another thing the dread head was completely okay with.

"I know this.. this is probably gonna sound dumb, but hear me out." Sean's voice was cautious as he watched Finn nod his head. "Have you ever heard of.. platonic cuddling? I know that sounds awkward, but it's actually very therapeutic. If you don't want to, I totally get it, I know it can be pretty weird when another guy asks something like that-"

That boy was literally too cute for words. Finn placed his hand against the back of Sean's neck as he let out a soft chuckle. "You're adorable." Diaz rolled his eyes and Finn could see a slight flush of heat in his cheeks. "That sounds great. Not weird as long as you're comfortable." Sean's eyes lit up at that, seemingly eager to make Finn feel better. The warm feeling in the pit of his stomach was back, the thought making him feel things he probably shouldn't.

"My friend, Lyla.. she has some mental health issues. This helps her. Helps me, too." Sean added the last part quietly, like the last thing he wanted was to turn this around and make it about him. Curiosity burned through Finn but he just laid down beside Sean, his scents way too close, more than before. They engulfed his senses when he pressed his head against Sean's chest.

Weed, laundry detergent and something special that was just.. him. It was almost like Finn didn't need anything else to get him high. All he needed was this, and he'd be good for the rest of his life. That paired with Sean's soft fingers against his skin.. he'd be set. He fully gave in, let himself fall in everything that was Sean Diaz. He listened to the steady sound Sean's breathing and his heartbeat until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.

~*~

"So.. you and Sean are like.. cuddle buddies?" Hannah asked with a playful smirk. Her naked body laid beside him, a lit cigarette between her fingers. Finn c ouldn't help but smile at the term. It had been almost a month since the first time they held each other, and it turned into them having designated nights during the week where they would just cuddle, talk and smoke.

"Are you sure that's all you want from him?" She asked in her own skeptical way. She put out her cigarette and rolled over so she could look up at him. Finn didn't answer right away but he already knew the answer. No, that wasn't all he wanted. He wanted way more than he deserved.

"Yup, very sure." He lied straight through his teeth and Hannah had to have known it, too. She got up with a stretch and pulled her pants up over her bare bottom.

"All I'm saying is," she started as she sat at the end of his bed, "be careful. He's.. different from us." Finn knew that she meant well. They were family, after all. But Finn couldn't help but feel like that maybe, just maybe, being different wasn't so bad.

~*~

Sean finally opened up to Finn about his past at a party, when they were both wasted and alone. They laid on the grass and looked up at the stars. That party was in the woods, away from the bright city lights, making the stars easier to see. The party could still be heard in the distance, but Finn could only pay attention to Sean. He looked really good that night, especially with the moonlight against his skin.

Diaz broke the silence first. He couldn't look at Finn, like talking was already hard enough. "My mom left when I was eight. My little brother was just a baby, barely a year old." His voice strained at that part. Finn took his hand in his like Sean had done for him that night and hoped it brought him the same amount of comfort.

"My dad worked hard in Beaver Creek to keep a roof over our heads. It was already hard for us since there isn't that many people of color there. But I.. I didn't really make it easy. I was so angry all the time. Got around a bad crowd, did some bad stuff." Sean sighed, his grip tight on Finn's. "I helped burn a church down. It was so fucking stupid. I.. I didn't get caught or anything, and no one got hurt, but.. my dad found out. I could tell he was at his limit.

"I had to do better.. be better. But my dad knew that I wouldn't be able to do that there. So.. we left. Now I go to group therapy every Sunday. It's how I met Lyla.." Sean trailed off, like he wasn't sure what else he wanted to say. He finally turned over and faced Finn, who was already looking at him and listening attentively.

"I'm not looking to have a therapy session or anything-sorry, I just.. You put your trust into me. Thought I'd return the favor." His smile was small and a little awkward. Finn couldn't help but return it as he scooted in closer. He gingerly placed his hand against the nape of Sean's neck, his green eyes soft. "I appreciate it, man. I really do."

Something in that moment changed in the way Sean looked at him. His smile faded slightly and his cheeks turned a darker hue. It made Finn feel like he did something wrong, so he moved his hand. The last thing he wanted was to make Sean uncomfortable. His eyes widened when Finn moved, almost panicked.

"Wait.. uh.. you don't have to move. It's okay." Sean whispered, his voice sounding strangely unsure. Finn moved slowly, gently putting his hand back where it was. He let his fingers run through the hairs at the nape of his neck. Sean's eyes fluttered shut, a shaky breath escaping his parted lips.

Everything in Finn wanted to kiss him. It'd be so easy just to lean in and just-.. but he knew he wouldn't. Not until Sean asked. The last thing he wanted was to ruin what they already had. So he took in his scents, which just so happened to be mixed with the earthy smell of the forest.

~*~

The first time Finn met Daniel it was by accident. The Diaz household was usually calm. Those few nights a week Finn would stop by, there would be nothing stopping Sean from leading him to his room so they could chill. Not that time though, because as soon as the oldest son opened the door, he was called by Papa Diaz.

Sean groaned and apologized, saying that he could just go to to the room. A messy little head poked up from the back of the couch right as Sean walked away. His bright smile and wave boasted Finn's mood instantly.

"Hi! I'm Daniel. You're Finn, right? Dude, Sean talks about you, like, a lot. Wow. I like your hair. And O-M-G, are those real tattoos? On your face? Wicked!"

Finn remembered Sean saying once that his baby brother really liked to talk. He thought he was joking but he could clearly see that he wasn't. It wasn't a bad thing though. It was pretty adorable actually. And so he sat down next to Daniel and talked with him about his tattoos.

"Sorry about that. Had to help my dad with something in the garage." Sean said from behind them. Finn could feel his hand against his shoulder. The warm feeling was back in his tummy. He learned by then just to welcome it, it wasn't like it was gonna leave anytime soon.

"Hope this one didn't talk your head off while I was away." Sean said as he ruffled his other hand in Daniel's hair. He laughed as the youngest brother swatted his hand away. "Just playing, enano." He moved his gaze down to Finn, his fingers casually playing with a dreadlock. "You ready, Finn?"

"Oh, man.. Can you guys please stay in here? I'm so bored by myself.. we can play a a game. I got a multiplayer zombie game!" Daniel begged, his big eyes so filled with hope.

And so, they spent most of the day playing and talking with Daniel. He told Finn about life in Beaver Creek, how he had a best friend there named Chris Eriksen. The kid explained in detail all of their adventures as Captain Spirt and Superwolf. He was pretty bummed out having to leave him, but luckily they were able to video chat every day after school. After homework, of course.

"And when Christmas comes around, we're taking a trip back over there to see our grandparents. He lives right next door to them! I'm so excited. Aren't you, Sean?"  
A ghost of a smile appeared against the older brother's lips as he nodded his head. Finn could tell right away that he wasn't ready to go back. Daniel had no idea though as he talked more about his grandparents and how they were probably the whitest people ever.

"Daniel!" Sean cackled, "Sorry, dude. But yeah, our grandparents are white. Kinda fit most of the white stereotypes, too. But they're pretty okay for the most part." He explained to Finn after he calmed down from his laughing fit.

"At least they don't like Trump!" Daniel exclaimed like he knew exactly what he was talking about. Finn grinned, "Sounds like your Christmas is gonna be great, Daniel. What do you want exactly?" Sean groaned dramatically as his little brother went down his extra long list.

Finn couldn't help but like Daniel. He reminded him of himself when he was a kid. Not the bad stuff, obviously. But when he'd play with his brothers and they'd joke and tease. They still did that stuff as he grew, but they also expected him to be more 'responsible', to help around with their dad more. They thought he'd get hurt less that way.

They didn't know about what their dad used to do to him. He guessed maybe their dad was a little different when they were younger, that maybe after Finn was born something snapped inside of him, made him want to hurt his youngest son in the most vile of ways.

Finn wasn't sure if he'd ever tell his brothers about it. The only thing he was sure of in that moment was how happy Sean made him and how thankful he was that a kid like Daniel wouldn't grow up like he did.

He watched the Diaz brothers argue gleefully, his hand wrapping around Sean's in the most nonchalant way. Sean seemed like he barely noticed as he kept his conversation going with Daniel, his fingers intertwining with Finn's.

~*~

Their first kiss was beside their newly built snowman. Christmas was just a few weeks away, and it had been snowing so much that school was canceled for a day. Finn came over because he wanted to, and had nothing to do at home other than get yelled at. Sean was his safe place, so that's where he'd go.

He parked in front of the Diaz house and could see Sean and Daniel having a snowball fight. He was already grinning when he got out of his truck, "Can I join in on this party?" Finn asked as he made his way over to Sean, who was already smiling up at him.

"Yeah! But no more snowball fights. One against two isn't fair. But, but.. oh! Can we build a snowman, Sean?" Daniel was practically bouncing with excitement, and even more so when Sean said yes.

They worked in sections. Daniel worked on rolling up the head, Sean handled the torso, while Finn rolled up the biggest part, the bottom. And then they worked to put it all together. It was a blank canvas waiting to be decorated. Daniel loudly announced that he'd be right back with things to put on their glorious snowman.

"It looks great, man. I don't even remember the last time I made one of these." Finn said as he pulled out a few twigs from the head. Sean stepped closer, his brown eyes cautious. "Can I.. um. Can I try something?" He asked, his shaking hands gently falling against Finn's cheeks.

The tattooed boy's heart felt like it was gonna jump out of his chest. He nodded slowly, watching as Sean leaned forward, those beautiful eyes fluttering shut. Once again, Finn found himself falling into everything that was Sean Diaz. He wrapped his arms around him and suddenly he wasn't cold anymore. His cheeks burned as their lips moved slowly and gently, Finn wasn't used to something so soft. He loved it way more than he thought he would. He didn't want it to end.

It was Sean who pulled away first, his cheeks a darker color than before. "Was that good?" He asked shyly. Finn let out a breathy chuckle as he pulled Sean into his embrace. It was more than good. He was more than happy. He wasn't even sure what that kiss meant for Diaz, but it truly felt a door opening for them.

"Yeah." Finn breathed. He could feel Sean shiver against him. "What about you?" Sean laughed into Finn's thick jacket before looking up. "Sí. _Perfecto_." Man. Finn really did enjoy hearing Sean speak Spanish, even if the words were simple.

They pulled away when Daniel came outside with a hand full of decorations, shrieking in absolute excitement as they worked to make the pile of snow into the real deal. stones and pebbles for the face, one of Sean's old hats, a too long scarf and some sticks for arms. It was honestly kinda ugly, but in its own charming way. They even took selfies with it,_ for memories_, Daniel had said.

Though the idea was cute, there would be no way Finn could forget that day.. ever.

~*~

When Finn first met Esteban, he was scared shitless. He just knew that as soon as Esteban really got a good look at him, at his dreads and his face tattoos, that he was gonna hate him. He was definitely gonna want Sean to find new friends.

The thing was that him and Sean weren't exactly friends. It didn't really feel right calling what they had that. They were more than just friends. More than cuddle buddies and more than fuck buddies-even though they hadn't even got that far. They mostly still cuddled and made out.. a lot. Things would get pretty heated sometimes but they both hadn't crossed that line just yet.

Like the night before when Sean got on top of him. They were wrapped up in each other, discovering each other's mouths, when suddenly Sean threw a leg over Finn's body and sat down, a little quick and a little awkward. But his eyes were so dark, so needy. Finn cursed at the sight, at the feeling of Sean on top of him. He wanted to feel his skin beneath those clothes, to hear those breathy little noises that Sean would make. They made no move to take that next step. They just started kissing again, even if it was more sensual and deeper than before.

Finn shook his head as he tried his best to block out those naughty thoughts. He was out in the living room with Sean and Daniel, watching them play video games. Sean was letting Daniel win for once and it was all too cute. Shuffling from behind them made him go stiff against the coach, a part of him hoped Mr. Diaz would leave them be, but he knew that was extremely rude of him to think.

It was almost as though he never expected to have to run into him. It seemed too obvious in that moment, he was over there a good two to three days a week. It made all of his hidden insecurities come to life. He usually never cared about others thought, but that was before Sean. He didn't want something like the way he looked mess up what they had but he knew all too well how parents could be. And when Esteban came into view to greet everyone, it felt as though Finn's heart jumped in his throat.

"Hey, guys. What's everyone up to?" His eyes scanned the room and landed right on Finn. His smile never wavered and even got bigger when the dread head gave an awkward wave. _"El es guapo."_ The older man had said to Sean. Finn didn't know what that meant but Esteban's voice sounded playful. Sean looked up at him with wide, horrified eyes, his cheeks immediately flushed with heat. Daniel busted out laughing. Finn was still sitting there, clueless.

"Anyway. You're Finn, right? Nice to finally meet you." Mr. Diaz said as he gave his hand to shake. Finn stood up maybe a little too fast and shook his hand, trying to remember the little bit of manners his brothers taught him. "Uh.. yeah-..yes. That's me. Nice to meet you, Mr. Diaz." He said like a real dork. He could see a small smile on Sean's face from the corner of his eye.

He left them be after that and Finn was finally able to sit down and let out a big huff of air. That went way better than he could have hoped but his pulse was still too high. Sean sitting down beside him made him feel a little better though.

"You good?" Sean asked as he grinned in pure amusement. Finn just hummed in response and leaned against his shoulder. "I.. I kinda told him about us. I hope you're not mad." Sean's voice was small, he honestly seemed nervous. Finn was shocked to find how happy that made him. It made it feel like whatever they were doing was serious, and Finn thought that maybe that could be good.

"Of course I'm not mad, honey." Sean rolled his eyes at the pet name but Finn could see his smile get wider. "Was your dad talking about me in Spanish?" Before Sean could really respond, Daniel shot up from the floor with a big grin.

"He just copied what Sean said a few nights ago: ooooh, Finn is soo cute."He mocked and Finn couldn't help but laugh despite his deep blush. He had to hold Sean down in his seat to keep him from chasing after Daniel who ran to his room, his own laugh fading as he shut his bedroom door behind him.

"This is so embarrassing." Sean groaned as he laid his head back against the couch. Finn sat up and leaned in close, placing his fingers against his boy's chin so he could make Sean face him. He was honestly the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on. The thought of him talking about him that way caused a new sort of happiness surge through him. It was dangerous to feel that way. He knew that's what Hannah would tell him.

He hadn't been able to fuck around with Hannah or anyone really since the day Sean kissed him. That was new, too. She didn't mind of course because she would never force something like that, she just reminded him again that he had to be careful. She didn't know Sean like he did though. He learned that they judged him wrongly before. That he's also a little broken. Not that it should matter anyway.

"I think you're cute, too, Diaz. And more." He leaned in even closer and kissed his cheek lightly. "You looked even better on top of me." Finn whispered hotly in his ear. He could feel Sean shiver against him and could hear a little noise, almost like a whimper trying to escape his throat. That turned him on in about two seconds, but he decided to stop teasing. He finally kissed him and Sean wrapped his arms around him and kissed back desperately, almost like he needed more.

~*~

When Sean asked him if he wanted to go to Beaver Creek with him and Daniel, he didn't really know how to answer. When he told him that he didn't have any plans for Christmas, he sure didn't expect an offer.

"I don't think your grandparents would like me very much, man." Was all Finn could think of at first. Sean was the one to tell him how conservative his grandparents were. They'd take one look at him and probably kick him out of their house. He also didn't even wanna think about what they'd do if they caught him and Sean holding hands.

"They're the ones who told me I could bring a friend if I wanted." That one little word kinda stung but Finn chose not to comment. He didn't exactly understand why anyway. "Fuck what they think, dude. You're great and they'll see that." Sean sighed and nuzzled into the tattooed boy's chest. They were in Sean's room cuddled close, the smell of him everywhere, filling Finn's senses just as he liked it.

"And I really don't wanna go alone. My dad won't be coming and it's just awkward. And.." Sean paused so he could hide his face, "I'm really gonna miss you for the whole week. I know that's silly. I just.. I like having you around." Once again Sean brought on the warmth in the pit of his tummy. It rose to Finn's chest and he could feel it swell, a brand new feeling that he couldn't quite place just yet. He also knew there was no way he'd be able to say no after that.

"Let me see that pretty face, baby." Hesitantly Sean did as he was told, he was still barely able to keep eye contact. "I understand. I feel the same way. You're my safe space, Sean Diaz." Finn smiled as Sean's eyes lit up. "I'll go." His laugh echoed through the room when Sean got on top of him and attacked his face and neck with kisses.

It was playful at first. Silly. But when Sean's sweet kisses on his neck turned into a slight suck, Finn could feel heat rush to his cheeks. His laughs quieted down and replaced by breathy moans. It felt so good and the thought of Sean leaving a mark on his body turned him on more than it should have.

Eventually Sean pulled away and kissed the spot Finn knew had to be beautifully bruised. He trailed those kisses up to Finn's ear, his hot breath making the dread head shiver. "Left a pretty little mark. Hope you don't mind." _Damn, this boy is something else,_ Finn thought as he wrapped his arms around him. Diaz let out a yelp as Finn flipped him over, his eyes wide as the tattooed boy held his wrists down by either side of his head.

Finn straddled his hips and he could feel Sean through his jeans, pressing against his bottom. He wanted to do so many things in that moment but for the first time in a long time, he felt nervous. The atmosphere in the room changed all too fast. He didn't understand why it was so overwhelming to him since he'd done this so many times before. He guessed it was different in that moment with Sean. He was something entirely too special and Finn was just so scared that he would fuck it all up.

But Sean had lust in his eyes and something else Finn couldn't quite place. Desire, maybe? Something more. "You can give me a hickey, too, if you want." Sean's voice wavered and Finn could see how badly he truly wanted it. There was no way he could say no, not that he really wanted to anyway. Finn leaned down and kissed him first, soft and slow. Then he trailed his kisses down Sean's jaw and finally to his pulse point. Diaz's breath hitched in his throat as Finn gave a teasing lick up the side of his neck. His cock twitched in his jeans, Finn could feel it against his clothed bottom. He cursed against Sean's skin in a breathy whisper, the sound making Sean whimper.

Finn needed to hear more. He loved the way Sean gasped and moaned and was way too turned on by the fact that he was the reason why. One hand slipped from his wrists and their fingers intertwine as his tongue and mouth work even harder. When he did finally pull away, Sean was a shuddering and panting mess, his face and neck flushed with heat. The mark Finn left on him was simply beautiful and oh so hot. He wanted to leave more but there seemed to be a more pressing matter at hand, "Finn, please. I need.." Sean's throat worked as he rutted up against him, the friction making both boys let out a breath. Finn was getting dizzy again.

"Are you sure, Sean?" The tattooed boy had to be completely sure that Sean wanted this, that this wasn't just the heat of the moment talking. Diaz nodded vigorously, "I've been thinking about this for awhile. I.. I trust you. You're the only one I wanna do this with." There was more there that Finn could tell he wouldn't say. He chose not to ask just what he was struggling to let out. The situation must've been overwhelming enough as it was, Finn didn't wanna make it worse. He just turned over and laid beside him. His movements were slow and steady as he pulled Sean's belt from the loops, and as soon as it hit the ground, his fingers began working to unbutton his jeans.

Finn knew that Sean had never been with anyone like that before, that he was a virgin in every sense of the word. Of course he didn't plan on going all the way that particular day, but it was still the most intimate thing Sean had ever done. And so he made sure to be gentle as he slid his hand into the waistband of Diaz's boxers, his hand wrapped around Sean's length and gave gentle strokes. "That okay?" Finn asked as he drank in every sigh and every moan.

"Y-yeah.. maybe a little more-_fuck_." He arched into Finn's hand as the pace quickened, his moans a little too loud. "Shh.. Gotta be quiet, baby." The dread head whispered before he pulled the member from its confines. Sean's cock was fucking beautiful. Thick and dripping with pre-come. Finn made sure to use it to slick the length, making it even harder for Sean to stay quiet. In return making it harder for Finn not to come right in his pants.

He lifted himself up and scooted down the bed, the pace of his hand slowing as a result, much to Sean's dismay. But Finn wanted to do something else, something he'd been wanted to do since he first wrapped his hand the beautiful brown appendage. "Wanna finish in my mouth?" There could of been smoother ways to ask but it got the job done. "Fuck yes." Sean said in one heavy breath. Finn smirked as he got down to the head, his eyes never leaving Sean's as he gave the tip a teasing lick.

"Finn, oh God," Sean groaned as he watched his cock disappear into Finn's mouth, "You're so hot." He gasped and then clasped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from being too loud. Finn liked the view, liked seeing Sean's chest heave with each breath, liked the feeling of his legs shaking, his hips wanting so badly to buck up into his mouth. He had one hand against his hip bone to keep him down and the other wrapped around Sean's free hand.

He hollowed his cheeks as he went down the shaft, his tongue swirling around the length as he went back up, never fully letting the member leave his lips. He tasted so fucking good against his tongue that he couldn't hold back his own moans, he knew the sound vibrated against the cock as it twitched in response. Finn rutted against the mattress to get some type of friction but his main goal was Sean's release, not his own.

"I-I'm close," Diaz struggled out, his grip against Finn's hand tight, as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. First time getting a blow job will do that to you, Finn guessed. But he also figured he'd be the same way if not worse if Sean was the one with his pretty lips wrapped around-

"Oh shit-I'm coming-" And Finn swallowed every last drop. He was drunk with it, the taste and the look on Sean's face, it was exactly what caused the mess in his trousers. He kissed him sloppily and hoped Sean was just as intoxicated as he was. He knew the farther they went down this new sexual chapter in their relationship, it'd only get better.

He could hardly wait.

~*~

The day before they were set to leave for Beaver Creek, Finn invited Sean to a party hosted by his favorite foster kids. Hannah wasn't really happy with it, but everyone else was. Finn loved Hannah to death but her distrust for Sean was really getting to him. It may have had to do with that new feeling, the feeling that left him feeling dizzy and stupid whenever he thought about Sean. He pushed the thought from his mind for a moment a looked around the crowded apartment.

Cassidy sat beside her new lover, a girl with beautiful almond shaped eyes and a sensual smile. Jacob was on the floor with their two adorable mutts, minding his own business as usual. Penny was making out with his boyfriend Jinx in the hallway. They always seemed to be in their own little world when they were together. Ingrid was sitting in Anders' lap in the arm chair, already about to fall asleep, not that Anders minded.

It didn't take long before he realized he couldn't find Hannah. "I'll be right back." He gave Sean's hand a quick squeeze before leaving him to go search for one of his closest friends. He checked outside first and luckily, that happened to be where she was. Bundled up in her too big jacket, her grip tight on her cell. Whoever she was having a conversation with wasn't making her happy, that much Finn could tell.

"You always do this. You say-you say you'll do these things but you never do. And for some fucking reason I let myself believe that you actually mean it this time." She paused, but just for a second, "No. Just stop. You don't get to apologize anymore. I'm done." and with that she dropped the call and then fell onto the stairs. She cried onto her hands and it didn't take long before Finn was behind her with his arms wrapped around her shaking form. She gripped his arm tightly as she sobbed, ignoring each ring coming from her phone. One quick glance down and he could see the person calling was her mother. He hugged her even tighter.

After awhile she finally calmed and was able to turn around and lean against Finn completely. He rubbed his hand down her back and he knew he'd wait there until she said she felt better. He felt bad for leaving Sean behind but he had to be there for his family.

"My mom missed the custody hearing today. She failed her drug test and decided that she just wouldn't go, that there was no point." She gave a dry laugh, "It's just an excuse, man. She.. she just.. doesn't want me." She pulled away after that and shook her head. "This is gonna be a good conversation with my therapist." Finn gave a weak grin at that and helped her to her feet.

"Thanks, dude. Now let's go get wasted. I'm sure you miss your cuddle bug anyway." She wasn't wrong there. He followed behind her but stopped in the living room while she went to the kitchen to get some booze no doubt. It didn't take long for him to find Sean seeing as he was the only one with the dogs at that point. When he looked up from his spot on the ground reached up for Finn to help him up. always got so cute when he was drunk.

Diaz leaned into Finn, the dread head having to support both of their weight against the wall. He didn't mind though. He wrapped his arms around him and from the corner of his eye, he could see Hannah smiling at them, despite it being all too obvious she was still upset. She looked as if she was finally starting to accept them and he was beyond grateful for that.

"Babyyyy~" Sean whined, his arms wrapping around his neck. Finn chuckled and returned the embrace, "getting sleepy, huh?" His grin got wider when Diaz nodded into his shoulder. He said goodbye to his friends who hugged them both tightly as they wouldn't be back until the end of the week.

He practically carried Sean to his truck and into the passenger seat. Such a lightweight. _Such a cute, sexy lightweight._ Finn buckled him in and then did the same for himself, and before he could even start the car Sean opened his mouth and left Finn breathless.

"I used to draw you all the time, man. Still do. Ever since I.. first.. saw you." His words slurred but his face was ever serious, "I didn't even know at the time that I liked guys, too. You just.. you're just so fucking special. Make me feel so many things." His head slumped back, the street lights illuminating the tears in his eyes.

"Are we really just friends?" The question broke Finn's heart. He had no idea Sean was feeling the same things he was. And of course he had to ask when he was stupid drunk. "Because I know-..I know you do this with your other friends, too. Am I-are _we_.. like that?"

Finn unbuckled his seatbelt and put Sean's face in his hands, wiping away those little stray tears. "Sean.. you are way more than that. I haven't been able to be with anyone else that day since we first kissed. It's scary for me, you know? I've never felt this way for anyone before. I.." Suddenly in that moment it all became clear for the young man. The thing he'd been feeling went beyond his usual obsession. It was bigger and louder than anything he'd ever experienced.

"I love you, Sean Diaz. I wanna be yours.. If you'll have me."

"I love you, too, Finn McNamara." Sean said it back barely a second later and damnit, Finn started crying too. "Pretty sure I've been yours since the very first time you talked to me." He looked like he was beginning to sober up, the weight of their conversation probably had something to do with that. Finn's smile was bright and wide as he wiped his own tears away. Sean placed his hand on the nape of his boy's neck and pulled him in, their kiss mixed with tears and alcohol.

Finn was truly scared. That was probably the most vulnerable place he could ever put himself in and he knew it, too. He hoped and he prayed to whatever deity was listening that he wouldn't fuck it up. That nothing would get in the way. He knew that would be hard with the way his family was set up. That was another big part as to why he'd never had an actual relationship. But in that moment with Sean pressed up against the passenger door and his hands up Finn's shirt, he couldn't bring himself to care.

~*~

The grandma definitely did _not_ like Finn. As soon as they all got off the bus to Beaver Creek, Finn could see the disgust in her eyes. It made him feel a little uncomfortable but Sean held his hand, and while that didn't help the look she had, it made him feel better. The grandpa seemed a little cooler with him though. He even introduced himself and only looked slightly weirded out by their gayness.

The only thing Daniel cared about was getting to Chris, Finn could tell instantly. He stuffed his bags in his grandparent's car and was the first person in. Pretty soon after that they all piled in and Finn watched the world around him. It was nice there. The looks of it, anyway. He was pretty sure the little town was filled with bigots but he chose not to bring it up since it kinda looked like Sean's grandma was one of them.

A boy who Finn assumed was Chris stood outside with a long red cape and colorful face paint. Daniel hopped up from his seat before the car even stopped, and once it finally did he crawled over the older boys in a rush. And before they knew it he had his arms wrapped around his best friend, their happy faces probably the cutest thing in Beaver Creek.

Claire, Sean's grandmother, actually gave the scene before them a bright smile. She looked kinda pretty like that, almost nice. They let Daniel play outside while the two teens unloaded the car. Finn didn't mind. He liked seeing Daniel happy and he knew Sean felt the same way even though he kept complaining about carrying all of his brother's things.  
Just as they were setting their bags down in the guest room, Claire came in, forcing a smile that was nothing like the one in the car.

"Sean, I've missed you so much." She wrapped her arms around him and Finn could see how stiff he got, despite returning the embrace anyway. "Now.. I know you two are.. well. Because of that I'd rather you not be sharing a room." She paused for a second to look at Sean's face, "Don't give me that look. It'd be the exact same way if you brought a girl here." Before he could say a word, Finn stepped in.

"Yes, ma'am. Your house, your rules." Finn knew at the very least he had to be respectful. He wanted Sean and to make that easier his family had to like him, too. Her face softened just a little bit after that, and only gave them one final nod before leaving the room entirely. Sean turned and laid his head against Finn's shoulder, already looking defeated. "This is gonna be a long week, man." Finn gave a small smile as he rubbed his hand up and down his boyfriend's back.

They could hear the boys outside playing, their laughter loud and joyful.

~*~

"Just take the couch. I'll be okay on the floor. I'll make a pallet and everything, it'll be fine." Sean insisted as he gathered up pillows and blankets.

"Daniel is sleeping over at Chris' tonight, right? So just take the bed. I'll be okay, baby." Finn whispered as he tried to take ahold of Sean, who ultimately decided not to fight it. He slumped into Finn's chest and grumbled into it, his fists tight around the hem of Finn's nightshirt.

"Use your words, honey." The dread head teased as he gently helped Sean look up at him. He had a longing in those deep brown eyes and there was something else, something hard poking at his thigh. _Oh._

"Want you." Sean mumbled, "Wanna have you in my mouth." _Shit._ Finn was hard in about two seconds just thinking about it. Sean had never done it to him and Finn never pushed it, but damn did he imagine it often. The setting just didn't feel right, not when his conservative grandparents could walk in at any moment.

"You have no idea how badly I want to, baby. You'd look so pretty with your mouth wrapped around my cock." He smirked at the physical reaction his words gave Sean. He was so mean. What he didn't take in account was that his boy knew how to be mean right back.

Diaz leaned in close and kissed Finn's neck, his hand resting against Finn's thigh, dangerously close to the tattooed boy's dick. He trailed his kisses up and over his earlobe while his hand wrapped around and squeezed Finn's ass through his shorts._ Fuck._

He managed to pull away from Sean just long enough to shut the bedroom door. He honestly tried his best to be good but it was just too much. He needed release. Needed to feel his boyfriend's skin against his hands. His lips met Sean's in a hot and desperate kiss, but his hands were still slow and steady as his hands found their way up Sean's tee shirt. He familiarized himself with each curve, his fingers engraving each detail into his memory. He could hardly wait for the day he could strip Sean down so he could finally see what was underneath those clothes.

Sean mirrored Finn's actions, his hands going from Finn's front, down to his back, then back down to his bottom as he gripped it, pulling Finn close in the process. It made them grind against each other, the friction there but they needed more. "Take it out, baby." Sean did as he was told and pulled out his dick. Hard, thick and a nice brown, the tip already leaking.

Finn followed right after that. It was the first time Sean had seen his dick out on in the open and he tried not to feel shy about that. His cock was long and uncut, the tip a bright red as he pulled the skin back, the slit shimmering with his pre come. "Like what you see?" Finn managed as his hand went up and down at a really slow pace.

Sean licked his lips. "Yeah. Can.. can I touch?"

"Hell yes, baby."

Sean's hands were hesitant as they wrapped around it, he gave it a few experimental pumps, "That's good," Finn gasped, "Just.. tighten your grip around it, just a little.." Finn instructed, his experienced hands working down Sean's length, "Good boy." He praised as Diaz did exactly what he was told. He could tell by the way Sean's cock twitched in his hand that he liked the sound of that. He made sure to take note of that for later.

Finn kissed him as he came into his hand, almost as if to swallow his moans so his sleeping grandparents wouldn't hear. He followed soon after, fucking into Sean's hand as his heat met the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt. They rode out their orgasms, their kiss only getting deeper, more passionate. Finn pulled away reluctantly once their juices became dry and sticky. Sean looked completely wrecked from it, like he was drunk with it, and was just a few moments away from passing out. It was pretty late at night anyway.

Finn helped him change shirts and tucked him into bed. "I love you, Finn." Sean said in his shy, sleepy voice. The dread head couldn't help but smile as he carded his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. "Love you more, baby. Good night." Sean was too tired to argue with that, and within moments he was sound asleep.

Finn truly wished he could lay down beside him and hold him in his arms, but rules are rules. Sadly. He picked up the pile of blankets and pillows Sean threw on the floor and quietly made his way to the hallway. He let his eyes scan the area; to the bathroom, the grandparent's room, the cool fucking train set up, and finally to the room that was forbidden. Karen's room, Sean and Daniel's mom. He let his fingers brush against the door for a fleeting moment, his heart in his throat as he realized the woman that left his precious boys behind lived in this very room. He made sure to flip the door off before making his way to the bathroom.

He set the blankets down and looked up at his reflection. He scanned his face and beyond the tattoos, piercings and the scar across his nose, he could see his own mom. He never really talked about her, mostly because he never knew her. She died after giving birth to him, sepsis or something like that. He knew from pictures that he looked just like her. He often wondered if that was why his father hated him, why he used to-..well. He for sure wasn't gonna let himself go down that rabbit hole again, not that night anyway.

~*~

Daniel woke Finn up accidentally because of the cold morning air, it brushed against his skin and through the thin blanket. "Sorry, Finn. Didn't mean to wake you." He had a nervous tilt to his voice, like the older boy was gonna be mad or something.

"You're fine, Superwolf. Promise." He sat up with a stretch, his hands running through his dreads. He noticed after a second that Daniel was still standing in the door way, still in his winter jacket and snow covered boots, fidgeting where he stood. "You okay?" Daniel's eyes darted up, his eyes a little unsure. He tried to open up his mouth to speak but stopped as soon as his grandparents made their way downstairs.

"Daniel, you're getting snow all over the floor." Claire said in a stern tone. He apologized more than once as he removed his coat and shoes. "Thank you. Now, please go wake your brother." He did as he was told in a hurry. Finn rubbed at his face as he stood, giving his legs a good stretch before he began folding his sheets and blankets, the pillows stacked on top in a neat pile in his arms.

"Good morning." Finn's smile was bright and Steven returned the gesture, "Good morning, Finn. Hope the couch wasn't too hard on your back." He decided then that he definitely liked the grandpa.

"No, no, it was just fine." He turned and looked at Claire, who was getting the pots and pans out to start cooking. A home cooked meal sounded fucking lovely. She paid him no mind really but that was okay, his smile never wavered. "Okay. I'll just go help Daniel wake up Sean." They all knew the kid didn't need help doing that, Finn just needed an excuse to finally get up stairs and change clothes.

He stepped inside the guest room and paused like he walked in on something he shouldn't have. Daniel was shaking and Sean looked tired and confused, mixed in with a protectiveness that Finn could feel from across the room.

"What's wrong, enano? Are you hurt?" Daniel didn't answer at first, too busy looking down at his hands, "Did someone hurt you, Daniel?" Sean's voice was urgent and made an audible sigh of relief when his little brother shook his head vigorously. "Talk to me. Please." Finn knew he should have left by then but Sean looked up at him and had a look in eyes that said it was fine for him to stay.

"Chris.. he.. I don't know exactly what happened. We-we were just playing. His dad was, was drinking.. He tripped over a toy, got really mad. Chris tried to apologize, tried to clean up the mess but his dad.." Daniel was about to cry and Finn could feel it in his bones, like he knew exactly what happened.

"He was holding his arm so tight, then he pushed him down so hard, and I.. I didn't know what to do, Sean. I just sat there and watched 'cause I couldn't do anything." The tears spilled out right at that moment and Sean had his arms around him in an instant, cooing in his ear, "There was nothing you could have done, enano.. You were there for him after and that's all that matters."

Finn grabbed his clothes and gave one last look to Daniel, who had his face buried in Sean's chest, before heading to the bathroom to finally change his clothes. He was brought back to being ten, his brothers consoling him after their father beat him. He washed his face, scrubbing all of those bad memories away. He hoped Chris was okay, even though he didn't know him. He would never wish that on anyone. Ever.

There was a faint knock and then a voice he recognized, "Hey, babe, can I come in?" Finn opened the door and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Morning, sweat pea."

"Morning." Sean gave him a peck in return, a small one right on the mouth. He went and peed first, rubbing at his tired eyes. Finn brushed his teeth, trying to keep his eyes off his boyfriend's dick. Right as he spit the paste out of his mouth he felt arms snake around him. Finn smiled as he wiped his mouth, Sean's sleepy reflection against his shoulder the cutest thing he'd seen all morning.

"I hate seeing Daniel like that." Sean mumbled, burying his face deeper into Finn's shirt. Finn's smile faded after that. He turned around and wrapped around him so Sean could get nuzzled into his favorite spot, "Dunno how to help him."

"You did the best you could. You're such a good big brother." Finn gave a kiss to his forehead and one more tight squeeze before letting him get ready.

Breakfast was just as good as the dread head expected. He wasn't used to that. His dad never cooked, but his brothers tried, specifically Jared, the oldest. Their mom had him real young, so the age gap was bigger than the rest. He was the most patient, the most comforting. When Finn was younger Jared would try to make breakfast for him and the others, mostly slightly burnt pancakes and scrambled eggs with a little shell, but it was the effort that made it amazing.

"Tell us about your family, Finn." Claire's voice, sounding all too knowing, snapped him out of his thoughts. Finn took a sip of his coffee before answering, trying his best to come up with something that didn't sound.. illegal.

"Okay, uh, well.. I have three older brothers: Jared, Troy, and Kyle. We live with my dad. He's a mechanic, just like Sean and Daniel's papa." The lie slipped through his lips like butter. Claire nodded as she took a bite of the waffle, not really convinced but moved on, "And your mother?" Sean's eyes flicked up at Finn, like he wanted to know, too. Like he'd been curious but never found the nerve to ask.

"Oh. She.. She passed away shortly after giving birth to me." He could feel their sympathetic stares and it made him feel slightly uncomfortable.

"It's okay, really. I see her face every time I look in the mirror, so it's like she's still here in a way, like I know her somehow." They all smiled except for Claire who's eyes wondered over his face. "You know.. minus the tattoos." Finn added with a wink in the grandmother's direction. Her cheeks turned a slight pink.

  
Sean smirked, his hand finding Finn's under the table.

~*~

Daniel started playing with Chris outside more than actually going into his house. Sean and Finn joined them, Daniel excitedly introducing them as boyfriends. Chris was curious but ultimately accepting, bringing them into his world of justice and superheroes.

Playing outside like that made Finn feel young again. It brought him back to those single moments when things weren't fucked up and he and his brothers would play. This time though he was the older one, the one that's gotta look out for the little ones. He liked that, liked being a protector.

His thoughts were brought to halt when he was pushed into the snow. "Gotta pay attention to your surroundings, Swift Blade. We almost lost the battle against Mantriod." Sean said, or rather, _Silver Runner._ He had Finn pinned to the ground, his dreads falling loosely into the snow through is beanie. He smirked up his boyfriend, for the moment forgetting about the kids playing in the background.

"Apologizes, Silver Runner. How 'bout we kiss and make up?" Sean looked like he liked the idea as he swept down and kissed Finn full on the lips. It lasted for about thirty seconds before snowball hit them both right on their faces. Daniel's laugh echoed as he held onto Chris for support, his blond friend laughing along with him.

"Oh, that's it. I'm gonna get you, Daniel!" Sean was off Finn in a flash, chasing after Daniel all around the yard. The young adult sat up and just watched them, his smile happy and never ending. A small presence sat down beside him, and Finn could tell from the corner of his eye that Chris was a little nervous.

"I promise I'm not as scary as my tattoos and piercings make me look." Finn joked, amused by the way Chris shook his head, like that was the very last thing he meant.  
"I'm not.. not scared of you. You just got a few shapes on your face.. nothin' scary. More like a super hero mask than anything." Chris smiled, a small but geunine one.

Everything about him seemed small, so innocent. Which was why Finn got a little sad when he remembered what happened yesterday morning. He made sure it didn't show though. He didn't wanna make him uncomfortable.

"You think so? Thanks, bud."

Chris nodded and brought his attention back down to his hands, he was forming a pretty good sized snowball. Finn silently hoped he wasn't gonna get hit again.

"How did you get the scar on your nose?" The question kinda caught him off guard. Finn wondered briefly if he should just lie. It'd be so easy. Just a slip in the shower. But for whatever reason, it didn't feel right lying to the young boy beside him. He looked down at the blond and gave a weak smile.

"My dad pushed me and I smashed my face against something sharp, some metal piece in his garage. Was gettin' on his nerves, I guess." He watched as Chris' eyebrows furrowed, his eyes back down to the ball in his hands. Sean was still chasing Daniel for the heck of it, their laughter fading into the background as Chris talked, his voice quivering like he was holding back tears.

"Are all dads like that?"

"No, kid, they're not." Finn sighed as he thought about Mr. Diaz. He was a good father in every sense of the word. "Dads are supposed to protect their little ones. Not hurt 'em. You understand?" Chris nodded slowly as he started working on another snowball.

"My dad, he.. used to be like that. Then my-..my mom died. He changed. Started, uh, drinking. He gets mad easily when he drinks." He explained as he put the slightly smaller snowball on top of the bigger one. Finn dug around the snow and pulled out two little twigs, "Here." Chris gave him a smile as thanks as he placed them on either side, giving the tiny snowman arms.

"From one bruised kid to another, I wanna tell you that it's gonna be okay. You're strong, Chris. But there's no shame in getting help, if you think you need it. Sounds like your dad may need some help, too." He added the last part lightly to make sure he didn't cross any lines. But he meant every word, knew from experience. Chris' situation seemed a little different from his, he wasn't stuck like he was, he could probably get out. But according to Chris, his dad used to be good to him. The boy was no doubt clinging to that. So maybe he was a little stuck after all.

Chris stayed quiet for a few moments, his eyes glued to the snowbaby in front of him. He looked up at Finn and opened his mouth, but before he could say a word a deep voice cut through their atmosphere, making the laughs in the background go silent.

"Hey, Chris. You gonna introduce me to your new friend?"

Finn stood up and brushed the snow off of pants before giving the man in front of him a strained smile. He could tell that he was Chris' dad, from the hair and the eyes, there was no doubt.

"O-oh! This is Finn Mc..McNamama?" Chris looked up at him and shrugged his shoulders. Finn stifled a laugh and patted Chris' back. The dad watched his every movement.

"My name is Finn McNamara. I'm Sean's boyfriend. Nice to meet you." He extended his hand and Chris' dad stared at it for a couple of seconds before giving it a good shake, his face slightly strained like Finn made him uncomfortable. The dread head was pretty sure that was it.

"Yeah.. nice to meet you, too. My name is Charles, Charles Eriksen. I'm just about to take Chris to the Christmas market in town. They actually have a Santa this year, if you can believe it." That was followed by a string of _Can Daniel go? Please, please?_

"If you wanna go, Daniel, you should probably go ask your grandparents first. Specifically Claire." He said through a sigh as he removed his hand from Finn's.

"Are you Irish? You know, the last name." Charles asked, trying his best to make small talk. Sean made his way over to them and stood close to Finn, not touching him but it was enough for the tattooed boy.

"Well, my grandparents were from Ireland. So, I guess, technically. Yeah." Charles only nodded as they stood around awkwardly waiting for Daniel to return with an answer.

"So.. how long have you two been dating?" The older man asked Sean. Finn was pretty sure they were acquaintances from back when Sean lived there. Finn gave his boyfriend a small smile, taking his hand in his as Sean replied. "Technically.. two months? But we've known each other for four months." Finn's cheeks flushed when he realized Sean was going off the day they shared their first kiss.

"Feels longer." Finn could see Chris' smile from the corner of his eye, that made him feel good. Charles could see it too, his features softening at the sight. He didn't exactly look like a bad guy.. but he was sober from the looks of it. Finn still felt cautious. An overprotective feeling similar to the one he'd get when it came to his family, the ones he wasn't actually related too.

"They said yes!!" Daniel shouted as he made his way outside. Chris jumped with joy, his cape bouncing behind him. "Well, come on then, boys. The truck is already warmed up." Daniel gave both teens a hug, saying he'd be back before supper.

"Be careful, enano." Sean whispered when Chris and Charles were a good distance away. Daniel promised he would be before he finally let go and ran after Chris, their little hands finding each others as they hopped in the back of the truck.

~*~

Claire and Stephen left a few minutes after Sean and Finn came back inside. They needed to go run some errands and get groceries for their Christmas dinner, before all the good stuff got bought. In not so many words, Claire asked the boys to refrain from any sexual activities, as part of her house rules. And Finn tried his hardest to follow through, he really did. But Sean wasn't having it, something that was evident by the way he straddled him on the living room couch, his tongue working wonders inside his mouth. Finn couldn't help but wonder what else it could do.

"I meant what I said the other night." Sean whispered against the older boy's lips. "Wanna have you in my mouth." Finn's fingers dug into his boyfriend's hips, those dirty words making his half hard dick twitch beneath his jeans. Sean's lips trailed their way down his neck before slipping off his lap and onto his knees. The sight was too good already. There was no way he could stop him as he found his way though his jean's and boxers, not that he really wanted to anyway. Sean wrapped a hand around his length, his movements cautious and unsure despite his bold words.

"Don't be nervous, baby. Use that gorgeous tongue and taste it, wanna see you savor the taste of my cock. Fuck." He cursed as Sean did exactly as he was told. He started at the shaft, his tongue trailing and swirling upward until he reached the head. He paid extra attention the foreskin, licking around the inside before using his hands to pull it back. "Good, good boy. Doin' so good for me. Lemme see you take it in your pretty mouth."

Sean's eyes fluttered shut as he lowered himself down, the head vanishing behind his lips. Finn's curse was loud, his whole body shuttering at the feeling. "You're so beautiful, baby boy." He gasped, "Take it in more now, nice and slow. Keep a steady breath through your nose, okay? God, yes, Sean, just like _that!"_ His boyfriend was such a fast learner and he loved him for it.

The younger boy found his own rhythm after awhile, bobbing his head up and down like he was born for it. He managed to take it all in, coughing slightly but never moving off him. Finn gripped at his hair, not too rough but just enough to get Sean to look up at him, his eyes dark and pupils blown.

"You like my cock down your throat, don't you, baby? Such a dirty little slut for me. Gonna make me come so hard." Finn could barely control the filth coming from his mouth, especially with the way Sean moaned around him. He definitely wasn't gonna last long. His baby boy made sure of that as his pace quickened, gagging around him sloppily. Nope, not long at all.

"Oh fuck, Sean, I'm coming-" Finn groaned as he threw his head back. Sean took what he could but eventually pulled off, coughing a little as more sputtered out onto his flushed face. God that was too hot to Finn. Seeing Sean with swollen, well fucked lips and his come dripping down his face was almost enough to get Finn hard again if he wasn't already so spent. He bent down and licked his own come from his boyfriend's face like the nasty fucker he was before pulling him up into his lap.

"You're so amazing, babe. Made me jizz so quick." He gave a short laugh as he peppered kisses over Sean's burning hot face. "Now.. you ready for me to do the same for you?" Finn asked in his ear, giving the spot there a nice lick.

"_Siempre._ Always."

~*~

Two more days pass and it was Friday, two days away from Christmas. Finn had been working on it since the day after their first kiss, on his own private time. He was nervous. He'd never given a romantic partner a present. In his defense he'd never had one before Sean, so it was all still new to him. He felt silly for making a big deal out of it in his head because they hadn't even talked about getting presents for each other. Sean probably thought it wasn't a big deal and that was completely okay to Finn, he wouldn't know how to react anyway.

Cassidy and Penny helped him with it, called him a sappy dope, but also said Sean would love it. He was almost finished, just had to print off a couple more photos and the little scrapbook would be finished, for the time being anyway. The problem with that was, he didn't have his truck with him. There'd be no way for him to just sneak out and find the nearest Walgreens, which according to Google was in the next town, so that was just awesome.

He cautiously made his way over to Claire and Stephen who were both sitting in the living room in their recliners. They'd seemed to like him better as the week progressed, so maybe it really wasn't that big of a deal to ask for a favor, but it still made him feel bad. He hated asking for help and this was no exception.

"Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds?" He got into their line of sight and gave a small smile. Claire put her book down and Stephen put down his TV remote. "Yes, Finn? Is everything alright?" The grandpa asked as he adjusted his glasses.

"Oh, um, yes. Everything is good, I was just.. okay. I'm working on a Christmas present for Sean and it's almost done. I was just wondering, if it isn't too much to ask, could I possibly get a ride to a place that prints off pictures?" It came out all at once and he felt silly as they grinned at him, his cheeks burning.

"Claire was just about to head that way, weren't you, dear?" Stephen asked his wife and she slowly nodded, her grin getting smaller. "Have to pick up my prescriptions. They have what you're looking for there." She got up to put her book away and gave him a strained glance, "I'll be ready in an hour."

Finn nodded and hoped they couldn't hear him gulp out of fear.

He finished getting ready within that hour, Sean's questions and concerns never ending. He didn't understand why he had to leave with Claire, that he was scared she was gonna say some things that would hurt Finn's feelings. He assured his boyfriend that it wasn't possible as he gave his forehead a small kiss. And after that he was gone and awkwardly sitting in the passenger side of Claire's minivan.

She liked driving in silence. No music or anything. At least Stephen liked listening to his classic rock, that was cool. But not that silence. It ate at him, made him jittery. He was already dreading the drive.

"Do you have your license?" Claire asked out of nowhere.

"Yes, ma'am. I do."

"Hmm.." Claire hummed, her eyes never leaving the road. "I know Sean got that cashier job not long after moving out there. What about you? Do you work?"

"I do odd jobs here and there. I'm gonna be starting an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop when I get back to Seattle." Finn answered proudly. It hadn't been a decision he took lightly. He knew his family weren't gonna be happy about it, that they wanted him to take on their business. And if Claire knew anything about that she wouldn't have given him a disapproving stare, but she didn't, and so she looked at him like he was nothing.

Finn shook it off, the rest of the ride completely silent until they pulled up to the pharmacy. She got out first, not giving him a second glance as they made their way inside. They went different directions once they reach the entrance and luckily what Finn needed was directly to the right.

He took his time and sorted through the pictures he needed and the ones he'd already printed. First he saw the first selfie Sean ever sent him. He looked so shy and just so good. And then there was the picture they'd taken the day of their first kiss-already printed off but still in his gallery for whenever he wanted to see it.

His favorites were the ones he'd taken of Sean off guard, when he was drawing, laughing or just sleeping against him. He cherished those moments when Sean was lost in his own world or in a peaceful state like sleep. Warmth swelled in his chest as he looked over them all and finally to the one Cassidy had just sent him that morning.

It was the first party Sean and Finn went to together. They were sitting beside each other, beers in hand, just talking. Sean had a glint in his eyes as he looked at Finn and the dread head wondered how he never noticed before. He knew it sounded sappy but he couldn't bring himself to care, because for the first time in his life he'd found something that truly made him happy, and he never wanted to let go of that.

"You really do care about Sean, don't you?" Claire's voice was softer than usual but it still made him jump slightly. He had no idea he was being watched. He realized that he must've been smiling a little too hard-his cheeks hurt and his face was a bright crimson. He cleared his throat and finished up what he needed to do.

"I really do, Mrs. Reynolds." More like he was already completely in love with him, but Finn decided she didn't need to know that yet. He walked over to the counter and waited for the images to be printed off and handed to him. She hummed in response, a different tune then before. It almost sounded approving.

In the car she actually turned on the radio. It wasn't Stephen's classic rock, more like gospel.

Anything was better than the silence and her disgusted stare.

It felt like progress.

~*~

Finn wasn't exactly sure what time it was, but he knew it had to be Christmas already. The only thing he was truly worried about was being woken up by kisses peppered across his face. He opened his tired eyes with a smile, catching Sean's lips with his own. The soft little kiss lasted just a second before the younger boy pulled away, much to Finn's disappointment.

"What time is it?" The tattooed boy asked as he sat up with a stretch. It didn't feel like he slept long. He could barely see Sean in the dark living room but he could smell him, and fuck he smelled way too good to have just woken up.

"Like.. four.. in the morning." Sean answered shyly, his fingers fumbling through his boyfriend's dreads. "I miss you, baby. Want you in bed with me." He sounded so pouty, so cute. Finn felt like he needed to remind him of the house rules, but somehow he couldn't. Not with the way Sean's soft hands smoothed over his shirt and over his chest. Jesus.

Without a single protest Finn followed his lover up the stairs, quietly making their way to the guest room. Suddenly he was glad Daniel decided to spend their last night in Beaver Creek with Chris. He knew how that sounded, but he couldn't bring himself to care once Sean wrapped around him, his kisses deep and filled with purpose. He hadn't realized how much he missed his touch until then.

Of course they had their moments where they could kiss and touch there in his grandparent's house, but they were quick, fleeting. He felt like he had all the time in the world as he lifted up Sean's shirt, looking over his bare torso just for the first time. He savored each detail with his hands and mouth, taking in each breathy noise coming from above him. He was at Sean's navel, licking up and around each lean muscle. He tasted so good-he needed more. His fingers moved to the waistband of his boyfriend's boxers, slowly pulling them down until he beautiful boy was finally naked.

"Get on the bed, baby."

Sean looked up at him with shy eyes but did as he was told. He laid back on the end of the bed, his skin flushed with heat and embarrassment as Finn looked over all of him.  
"You're truly the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on." The older boy shook his head in pure disbelieve, "How did I get so lucky?" He asked himself in a whisper, too drowned out by Sean's panting since Finn's hands were trailing up the underside of his thighs, pushing his knees to his chest.

Beautifully exposed. Just for him.

Finn got down on his knees, his hands pulling Sean's ass cheeks apart, licking his lips at the sight of the tight, untouched hole in front of him. "I wanna eat you out, baby boy. That okay?" He was dying to get his mouth on the delicious opening, but he had to hear the words, had to make sure Sean was just as into this as he was.

"Yeah-..yes. Please. Do that."

Finn didn't need anything more. He leaned forward and gave it a teasing lick, his cock twitching at the sound of Sean's surprised moan. "Gotta be quiet, sweetie. Wanna make you feel good, but also don't wanna get caught." He said as he kissed up his thighs. Sean nodded as he threw an arm over his mouth to keep his sounds muffled. Finn went back in, his tongue trailing down the perineum and then gracefully around the rim. He practically moaned when he pressed inside, the tightness engulfing his tongue, he couldn't help but imagine how it would feel around his cock. The older boy pushed the legs up further, allowing him more space to work.

"Finn-" Sean gasped into his arm. He snaked his other arm around his thighs and wrapped a hand around his length, giving himself unsteady pumps. His pre come was already leaking sweetly onto his belly. Finn wanted to lick it up, wanted to taste every inch of Sean but kept his tongue where it was, savagely devouring his ass like he owned it. The arm that Sean was using to keep himself quiet moved down, his hand on the back of Finn's head, losing himself in the dreadlocks.

"Feels so good," A sharp gasp in the form of a whisper, "Please don't stop. So fucking close." The younger boy rasped, moving up and down his length at a faster pace. And Finn didn't, his spit dripping down his chin as his tongue moved in messy movements. And he truly didn't stop until Sean was shuttering, his legs shaking as he came against his chest. His body fell limp against the mattress, his legs falling flat along with it when the tattooed boy stood up.

Finn took in heavy breaths as he looked over his orgasm stricken lover. He moved up Sean's body slowly, licking his come up as he made his way over his favorite set of lips. He kissed him deeply, wanting Sean to taste himself on his tongue. After a few moments of lazy kisses, Finn pulled their bodies up to the pillows, pulling Sean's still heaving body against his chest.

"Your.. your turn." Sean managed, still breathless from his first time getting rimmed. Finn could only chuckle because he could tell his baby boy was too tired to move. Oh but his dick was aching behind his boxers, in desperate need for release, and he was just fine with jacking himself off while staring at the beautiful body beside him.

"I can take care of this. I just need you to do one thing, baby." He whispered as he finally pulled out his throbbing length, his hand already working slow movements at the hilt. Sean got closer, his lips fluttering close to his boyfriend's ear. "Anything." He gave as he kissed near the gauge. Finn was smirking before the words even left his lips.

"Tell me what you want. Don't spare any details."

It was silent for a few moments, like Sean was working up the nerve to do it. Finn, despite the fact his hand was still moving, was prepared to tell Sean that he didn't have to. He'd never make his baby boy do anything he wasn't comfortable with, even if that thing was simply talking. Before the older boy could even do that, however, Sean boldly broke the silence.

"I want you to fuck me." Shit. The whisper sent a jolt down Finn's spine. "I want you to use me. Want you to own me. I wanna feel you so deep in me that I'm sore for days." Sean almost didn't sound like himself. He sounded so dark, so hot. _God I've created a monster. A fucking gorgeous monster._ He thought to himself as his pace quickened.

"And then.. Then I want to fuck you." He sounded unsure then, like he wasn't sure how Finn was going to react. But Finn loved it, his moan a little louder than he meant it to be. He could hear Sean curse under his breath as he watched his boyfriend jack himself off.

"Yeah? You want me just as bad as I want you?" Sean asked huskily, his soft hands running down Finn's thigh._ Fuck._ He wasn't going to last long with the younger boy talking like that. He didn't realize just how sexy his baby boy could be. "Hell yeah I do, babe. I'm so close." He panted, his pre come and spit slicking his length nicely, more dirty words filling his ear, pushing him right at the edge.

It didn't matter to Finn who was fucking who. As long as he was doing it with him. The boy with the beautiful body, face and mind. With the boy he loved more than anything. Sean Diaz was turning him into something else, something close to pure putty in his hands. He clung to him as he came, the thick substance spilling out in spurts on his shirt.

"Shit." Sean let out in a deep breath. "That was.. so hot. How are you so hot?" He asked as he kissed all down Finn's sweaty neck. The dread head let out a small laugh.

"That was all you, baby. With that dirty mouth. Where'd you learn to talk like that?" He pulled his soiled shirt over his head and threw it into the pile of Sean's clothes. He pulled the covers over them and held his boyfriend close, enjoying the skin on skin contact.

"Learned from the best." Sean joked as he nuzzled close. "I'm setting an alarm. You are not leaving this bed, Finn McNamara." The tattooed boy kissed his love's forehead, his calloused fingers running along his back.

"Wasn't planning on it, baby."

~*~

Daniel acted a little strange when he stepped inside. His cheeks were burning and it didn't seem like it was from the cold. At the same time though he looked happy, so Finn didn't hear Sean question it. They sat together on the living room floor while the old couple sat in their respective recliners, passing around their presents. Finn wasn't expecting anything and that was okay. It wasn't like that was his family. And he was used to it. His family didn't do Christmas.

When he was a kid, his brothers would get him presents, simply because he was the baby and they wanted him happy. But that little boy grew up. He didn't need presents anymore. But that didn't mean he couldn't happily sit back and watch the family in front of him open their presents.

Daniel got his first. His slightly strange behavior dissipated as soon as he began ripping them open. He got a Nerf gun (he was not allowed to play with it in the house), some Hawt Dawg Man merch, and new games for his PlayBox. He was so ecstatic about his new gifts that Finn almost felt too shy to hand him the present he got for him. It wasn't big or fun like what he just got but the older boy hoped he would like it all the same.

"You got me a present, Finn? Wow!" He practically snatched the little box from the tattooed hand. "It's not much, but.." Finn trailed off once he felt Sean's presence scoot even closer beside him, a bright smile along his lips. The young boy in front of them opened it up fast, his eyes wide once he saw what was inside. It was just a simple watch, nothing fancy. It had the Power Bear logo around the band and the bear's face behind the glass. "It's awesome! Thank you so much!" Daniel said as he slipped it down his wrist. A new sort of happiness swelled in the older boy's chest.

Sean was next, however, and that happiness turned into pure anxiety. Finn hoped it didn't show as the younger teen opened his own presents, which consisted of art supplies, new hoodies that were actually cool (but Finn would always prefer Sean's usual wolf squad hoodie), and cash. A good amount of cash, too. Sean wrapped his arms around his grandparents and thanked them profusely.

The heat on Finn's face was insane. He felt so silly with his handmade present behind his back. What if Sean thought it was too forward? Weird? The tattooed boy felt like he was gonna die of embarrassment if that was the case. For a split second, he almost didn't give it to him. But the old couple was looking at him with expectant eyes, because they already knew about it, and wanted to see for themselves. With the world's most shaky smile, he handed Sean his present, and watched as Sean's eyes softened, their fingers brushing against each other lightly as the younger teen took the wrapped present away from the tattooed grasp.

His slender fingers trailed the cover after removing the paper. It was just a simple scrapbook cover, with the word _memories_ sewed onto it. He opened it slowly, the first page a picture of their first party together.

"I thought about that night for a whole week." Finn added quietly, watching as Sean turned the pages, fingers trailing the images. To their first selfies together and to the day they shared their first kiss. It was all there until it reached the middle of the book, the rest empty.

"For when we make new memories, Sean." There was a lump in his throat, like he was seriously gonna cry if his boyfriend didn't like it. _Man up, McNamara._ He shook his father's voice from his head, trying his best to only concentrate on Sean as he held the closed scrapbook to his chest, his brown eyes glassy with tears. He threw a free arm around Finn's shoulders and the dread head returned the embrace tightly, relief flooding his brain and it almost turned into tears.

"I love you so much." Sean whispered so no would could hear but Finn. They could have stayed like that for a while if it wasn't for Claire's uncomfortable cough and Daniel playfully shouting, "Get a room!" The young couple pulled away, laughing softly. And then Sean tensed, asked them to give him a second before he ran up the stairs.

They sat quietly as they waited, Daniel unusually gentle as he looked through the scrapbook's pages. His cheeks were flushed again like they were earlier. Finn wondered what was running through the kid's head, but knew not to ask in front of Claire and Stephen. Daniel would talk when he was good and ready.

Sean came back down the stairs slower than when he went up, his movements unsure once he came into Finn's line of sight. He had an unwrapped canvas in his hands, his cheeks aflame once he handed it to the tattooed boy. Finn looked over it, his mouth hanging open because he'd never been given art before.

It was Sean and Finn, laying together on the forest floor, the night sky above them. The lights and the darks pulled together perfectly, each detail mirroring that night they shared at that party.

"That was the night I.." He cleared his throat, obviously a little put off about talking like that in front of his family, but he pressed on regardless, "I realized my feelings went way beyond friendship."

Finn stared at it a little more, feeling weightless, like he wasn't sitting in that room. When he did finally get up, his arms were around Sean in an instant. "I love you so fucking much, it's unreal." It came out in a shaky laugh because he actually was crying. He wasn't used to being loved by someone and it was almost overwhelming. He wiped his tears away quickly once they pulled away and Finn hoped none of them noticed.

"I must say.. that was smooth, guys." Stephen chuckled with a shake of his head. "Almost puts my present to shame. Almost." He handed Claire a rectangular box, her eyes glowing in a way Finn didn't think was possible coming from her.

_"To the best wife and grandmother.. I love you._" She read the tag out loud, her eyes already getting glassy before unwrapping it, revealing a velvet box. The older woman took in a breath before opening it, her hand covered her mouth as she let her tears fall, unashamed. A silver locket with diamond detailing, a photo of a young Claire and Stephen inside. She stood up and let her husband put it on her, his fingers brushing against her shoulders once the necklace fell gracefully over her chest. He leaned forward and kissed her flushed cheek and while Daniel sneered in playful disgust, Finn couldn't help but look at Sean.

He couldn't help but picture it. Him and Sean, an old married couple. Maybe they'd have few kids. Little ones he'd love and protect(never hurt), with the love of his life by his side. He tried to shake the achingly beautiful thought from his mind, it had to be too early to think about stuff like that. It wasn't like a life like that was in the cards for someone like Finn.

But with the way Sean looked at him-his brown eyes locked with green.. It made it feel like he was wrong, that maybe he actually could.

~*~

Chris' goodbye hug to Daniel lingered for a few moments longer than what some would deem normal. Not that Sean or Finn minded. They'd already gotten their goodbye hug from the boy, and they guessed the blond saved the best for last. Chris' cheeks were flushed and matched Daniel's as they whispered secret messages to each other that were meant for their ears alone.

Reluctantly the boys released their grip on each other so Daniel could get into the car. The ten year old was visibly trying his best to hold back tears as Captain Spirit disappeared into the distance. The car was silent, no classic rock or gospel as they made their way back to the bus station.

Claire and Stephen hugged their grandkids goodbye, said they'd see each other again soon. All Finn expected was a hand shake at best, a wave good bye at most. What he didn't expect was Claire pulling him into a warm hug. He'd never gotten a hug from a grandma before, and he never expected it to be so warm and loving.

"It was nice to meet you, Finn." Claire said softly, Stephen had his hand on the young man's shoulder to show that he felt the same.

The tattooed boy felt good. Sean's family liked him and he didn't even have to lie-.. He didn't have to lie a lot, at any rate. The older couple waved as the bus took off, until they, too, faded into the distance.

They sat at the very back of the bus, so they could all sit together instead of separately. Daniel sat in the middle, playing a Hawt Dawg Man game on Sean's phone. Finn had his arm outstretched over the back of the seats, his fingers brushing against the nape of his boyfriend's neck.

"Can I tell you guys something?" Daniel asked after almost an hour of silence. Sean was almost asleep thanks to Finn's touches but he shook the sleepiness away so he could listen to his little bro. Finn leaned in close so he could hear what the little guy had to say.

"Chris talked to his dad. Like, actually talked to him." He had a sad smile on his face, one that looked too grown and too wise for his small features, "His dad decided that he was going to get help. Chris has to stay with his grandparents though, so he can do that." His smile turned into a small frown.

"I know it sounds selfish, but I.. I'm just a little sad about it because that'll mean he'll be farther away from me." He had guilt lined in his voice and it broke Finn's heart. His hand landed on the young boy's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"That's not selfish, enano. You're his best friend, of course you're gonna be worried about that." Sean said, his smile small as his hands ruffled through Daniel's hair. The ten year old's cheeks suddenly turned a bright red, somewhere around the words best friend.

"Okay, so about that.." He wiggled out of their touch like it burned and made sure no one around them was listening, "Chris, kind of.. or, well.. we.. kissed. In the treehouse. This morning." His voice was so small, scared of his words. Finn's eyes were wide and he didn't even think to check Sean's reaction as the boy between them continued.

"Are we still best friends.. even after that? Did I mess it up?" He finally looked up at Sean then, tears finally spilling down his cheeks. The older brother pulled him into his embrace, his comforting words calming him instantly.

"There's nothing wrong with what you two did, okay? I need you to know that, Daniel." Sean said, his tone dead serious. "And of course you two are still best friends." The boy nodded in understanding and wiped his tears away. He pulled away from his brother and took in a deep, shaky a breath. His smile wasn't sad anymore.

"Congrats on getting your first kiss, Superwolf." Finn high fived the boy and all signs of stress left him instantly, and he was back to playing the Hawt Dawg Man game like everything was fine. Because it actually was. More than fine actually.

Sean loved his present. Sean gave him the most precious piece of art in return. The grandparents liked him. Chris was gonna be in a safe environment. Things were great. Finn didn't think anything could ruin how he was feeling.

He even let himself hope that it would stay that way.

~*~

"How was your vacation, lil bro? Did you have fun with your boyfriend while your big brothers had to do all the hard work?" Kyle asked once Finn came into the living room. He had his long hair in a low pony tail and a beer in his hand as he looked up at the dread head expectantly.

"Yeah, actually. A lot of fun." Finn responded dryly as he tried to get passed Troy, who was standing in the doorway like an asshole.

"Oh? So you admit it? He's your little bitch, huh?" Troy's buzzed head fell back, his laughter cutting Finn like a knife. The twins weren't usually jerks like that but they were drinking and Finn could tell they actually thought they were being funny.

"Troy. Kyle. Back off." A strong voice called out from the kitchen. Jared walked into the living room, he was so much bigger than his little brothers. "If dad heard that shit, Finn would be in serious trouble. Leave him alone."

Kyle and Troy hung their heads low. "We were just joking, Finn. Sorry." The tattooed boy only nodded in response as he finally cut his way through Troy and into his bedroom. He sat his bag down and moved to unpack it, but stopped once he saw the painting. Jared was right about Finn being in serious trouble if their dad found out. It made him sad that he wouldn't be able to display the beautiful piece of art, but it was better than dying prematurely, which was probably not an exaggeration.

"Finn?" Jared's voice filled the otherwise silent room and made Finn's green eyes shoot up. The older boy stood in the doorway, his arms crossed but looking gentle. His arms were covered in tattoos which he usually kept covered, but he was at home, so he was wearing his usual black tee-shirt, unconsciously showing off his muscles and ink.

"Yup." Finn put his most treasured present back in his bag and only took out the dirty clothes, just to toss them into the hamper. His other brothers started blasting some metal in the background and suddenly Finn was brought back to the reality that this was his home. Not with Sean, stealing snow covered kisses. So simple and safe.

"How are you doing, man?" His deep voice brought comfort through the mess. Finn knew Jared meant it genuinely, because he was always did. Even though he was the biggest and the strongest out of all them, he was also the kindest.

"I'm good, Jare. Truly." His smile was real and he knew his brother could tell.

They hung out in his room without the other two, drinking their own beers slowly, not really trying to get drunk. They just talked for hours and Finn refused to feel silly. Jared listened to him talk about Sean, about his eyes and his touch without one look of disgust.

And then it was Finn's turn to listen as Jared talked about a woman named Amala. He met her at the library, because that was where Jared liked to be, unbeknownst to their father. It was a Friday when he saw her and he knew it had to had been the first time he laid eyes on her because seeing her wouldn't be something anyone would forget.

"She has mocha skin and her eyes are almost black and just.. endless. I always get so lost in them. She's so beautiful, dude." He sighed and shut his eyes, probably picturing her right in that moment, "She wears headdresses-a hijab-a different colored one everyday. She's always so happy and confident in herself and in her religion. She's the sunshine and I'm the clouds, but it works somehow." Jared was smiling in a way Finn had never seen before, on him anyway. It faded after another sip of his beer.

"After almost thirty years of living, you'd think I'd learn that falling in love would be the worst fucking thing to do." He pulled out his cigarettes and offered one to his little brother, who took it gratefully. "She deserves more than I could ever offer." Both men take a long hit, letting the smoke fill their lungs and ease their anxiety. Finn had never heard Jared talk so low about himself before.

"You could if.. If you really wanted to, man, you could! You deserve to be happy, Jare." Finn said from his position on the floor. Jared sat in front of him, leaning against the dresser. The older of the two shook his head at that, like Finn was just some naïve child.

"No.. but you could, Finny. _You_ could. You can start that apprenticeship-speaking of which, did you really think you could keep that a secret from me?" He asked, his chuckle light as Finn's cheeks turned a deep red. "You can finish high school. Maybe marry that boy of yours if that's what you want. You could be better than dad, Troy or Kyle and even.. me." Jared looked at the dread head with a heavy seriousness in his hazel eyes.

Finn tried to respond with some sort of protest, but just as soon as he opened his mouth to tell him not to give up, the older brother's phone starting ringing in his pocket. He put out his cig and answered it, his voice tight, "Yes, sir?" A long pause, "Yeah, he's home. He's fine." His expression was unreadable, but Finn was pretty sure he was talking about him, and that he was talking to their father. "Yeah. Okay. I'll meet you there. Bye."

Jared sat his phone down with a sigh, his hand running through his short hair. He looked way older than he should have, more tired of their life than he ever admit. "That was dad. He needs my help on a job." He ruffled his hand through Finn's dreads before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

He couldn't help but feel bad. Why did he deserve to be happy more than his brothers? Because he was the youngest? It didn't seem fair or right. It wasn't even like Kyle and Troy weren't happy. They enjoyed the job and the cash it gave them. Jared was the one who secretly hated it, the one that made sure Finn stayed in school more than working with them.  
When he could have gotten his GED and went into a trade if he had to, he instead made sure Finn was shielded from their life as much as possible. Not that their dad minded, anyway. He hated looking at Finn outside of being drunk, especially after he got his tattoos.

_You ruined her face, you fucker!_ The memory tore through him like a bullet. He was fourteen when he got those done and he did it exactly for that purpose. He got the worst beating of his life that night but it was worth it because at least his father didn't touch him anymore.

_Jesus._ Too many bad thoughts for one evening.

He showered and the scalding hot water cleared his mind for a bit, until Sean was the one that popped up. He smiled to himself. His baby boy was definitely safe to think about. He turned the heat down a bit and shut his eyes, picturing Sean in there with him. In this particular fantasy, the younger boy was behind him, just as wet and soapy as Finn, his chest against the dread head's back. Sweet kisses would be scattered over his shoulders and the nape of his neck, arms would wrap around him and a curious hand would wrap around Finn's hard length.

_"Can I fuck you, Finn?"_

He almost came at the mere thought of it. He finished up his shower and made his way back to his room, shutting it firmly behind him. He knew he wanted to play out the fantasy but he needed more than just a hand job from himself. And he also needed to be filled up with more than just his fingers. He went into his private stash underneath his bed and found exactly what he needed, his trusty dildo.

He made sure to ease himself into it, just like he'd teach Sean to. He lubed up two fingers, stretching himself gently, his mind falling back into the fantasy that it was his boy that was doing it. Once he felt he was loose enough he slicked down the silicone cock and brought it to his entrance, easing in slowly,_ "Feel so good around me, Finn."_

Fantasy Sean was on top with Finn against his mattress, fucking in and out at a gentle pace until the tattooed boy couldn't take it anymore. "More. More." Finn choked out, thrusting in and out of himself at a much faster pace. Sean's cock was so thick and perfect, he'd fill him up so good. He wanted to hear his voice again, telling him how much he wanted him. He was so tempted to actually do it, to call him and shamelessly admit he was fucking himself to the thought of him. But his orgasm was already so close, he'd have no time.

And so he settled with the memory of Sean's dirty words, the fantasy above him whispering them in his ear. His free hand wrapped around his length just as soon as the dildo brushed against his prostate, a jolt of pleasure wracking though his body. And suddenly he was thankful for the loud music that was drowning out his sounds.

_"Come for me."_

And so he did, his cock spilling white ribbons of come against his flushed chest. He rode each wave until he was spent and over stimulated. Finn cleaned himself off and wrapped his naked body in his covers, feeling almost lonely. He was getting used to be held after an orgasm, like that was the best part. He sent Sean a text, despite feeling incredibly clingy.

**Gonna be dreamin about you tonight, baby boy, **along with a totally subtle wink emoji near the end.

The text back was almost instant, like Sean had been waiting.

**I already miss you so muchhh,** along with a stream of truly adorable hearts.

Maybe they were both a little clingy. But Finn didn't mind it one bit. He fell asleep happy, like nothing could ever go wrong again.

~*~

There was something eerily familiar about the added weight to the bed, the creeks of it and then someone else's body heat against the tattooed boy's back. Unwanted closeness filled his space and green eyes snapped open. The room was dark but he could feel hot breath against his neck. It was a nightmare-it had to be a nightmare, an old memory stirring itself back to life-

"Honey.. You're home.." His fathers voice filled his ears and then bile formed in the back of his throat. "Naked and waiting, I see.." Finn was already thrashing, trying his best to get out of that bed because it was not a nightmare. It was real. His father was truly there, holding him down against the mattress like he did he was just a fucking child-_NO!_

"Get the fuck off of me, you bastard-stop!" Finn was stronger than he was back then and was able to push him off, and for a second he was free. But just as he was scrambling off the bed, rough hands yanked at his dreads and forced him back down, his face pushed into the sheets.

"Stop fighting it, dear. It'll be over soon." His face was right there by Finn's, his breath reeking of alcohol. He pushed the dreads from the boy's face and even though the room was too dark, Finn could still see the outlines of pure evil.

"Fuck. You." He fought against his hold but he couldn't move, not with his father's weight against him. When the bigger man did finally move, he used his forceful grip to keep the boy's arms behind his back. "Don't fucking touch me!" He screamed once he felt another hand pull his cheeks apart, no doubt already aligning himself "Already so loose for me-"

_Please fucking stop\--_

The door flung open and the lights shut on but it was too late-a second too late. As his father invaded his body once again, white hot pain shot through him and suddenly he was eight again, his brain shutting down because suddenly he was too small for his own body.

He could vaguely remember the source of the pain being pulled out of him, some scuffling and muffled shouting, but he couldn't move, his eyes staring blankly at his bag on the floor, the painting peeking out from behind the still open zipper; like maybe if he stared hard enough he could go back there with Sean and be _safe._

~*~

The first time Finn had any sense of consciousness, he was in the backseat of Jared's truck. It was all in flashes but he was sure his older brother was crying. "Should have known. I'm so sorry, Finny.." _Should have known what? Why are you sorry, Jare?_ But in the time it took for the memory to come flooding back, he passed out.

The second time, he was in an unfamiliar place. He was in a room that was all too bright and his head hurt. Jared was there-the only familiar thing in sight-his back to Finn. He was talking to a doctor. _I'm in a hospital..?_

The doctor's tone was hushed, but Finn could faintly hear something about old scarring, an indication of years worth of abuse. Confusion filled the young man, which slowly turned into panic.

"Jared.." His voice was broken and hoarse. His brother turned around instantly, his face looked beaten. "Your face?" Finn asked once he got close enough. He could also see heavy bruises on his knuckles as he pulled a chair up so he could sit and talk without it being too loud. He looked away when his little brother asked about his face, debating within himself. He eventually sighed, "Dad and I got into it pretty bad after I walked in and saw.. you know." He ended the sentence slowly and awkwardly, looking at Finn with such sadness in his hazel eyes. "I know what?"

And then he remembered. How after he went to sleep happily after he fucked himself to the thought of Sean, his father stepped in and _ruined_ it. Soiled him yet again like he wasn't already discreetly broken. "Oh." He said as he threw his head back, a dry laugh escaping his lips as he stared into the too bright light. Not only had his father broken him once again, he made it be known to his brothers, the people who were _never_ supposed to know.

Familiar shame washed over him and he curled into himself, facing away from his brother. A part of him had to know it wasn't his fault, but that wasn't how his brain worked. It'd just make too much sense to not blame himself. But it _was_ his fault. It had to be. He fucked it all up the moment he was born. If his mom was still around, their dad wouldn't have turned into a monster and Jared wouldn't have gotten beaten up over it.

"I'm sorry, Jare. Didn't mean for you to get hurt." His voice small, like he really was eight again, curled up small and broken in his bed. Jared had tried to get him to talk then, too, but his little mouth wouldn't open. Finn didn't want him to get hurt. But suddenly he was nineteen in a hospital bed and Jared finally fucking knew his darkest secret. And then he got hurt; the one thing he'd been trying to prevent in the first place.

"No, no, Finny-That's not--This is not your fault. Look at me, man. Please."

Finn wouldn't look. He wouldn't move. It felt like if he did, he'd just fall apart. He needed Sean, needed to feel his body heat (a wanted closeness), needed to take in his scents, to get high off of everything that was Sean Diaz.

He wasn't sure if he deserved that anymore, either.

~*~

When he woke up again, he was relieved to find the warmth he so desperately craved. Sean was curled up next to him on the scratchy hospital bed, his fingers brushing against his cheek, tracing each triangle. The movement stopped abruptly once Finn's red rimmed eyes fluttered open.

"Hey." Sean said, his voice soft and cautious. "Hi, baby boy." Finn replied, trying his best to smile and not fall apart in his arms. It'd be so easy just to do that, to just let out all the tears he'd been too ashamed to shed. He felt like he'd do it anyway, but not then. He just wanted to lay there against Sean's chest and have him hold him like everything was okay. And if he shut his eyes, he could pretend that they were on Sean's bed. Not in that small hospital room.

"Your brother.. Jared.. he called me on your phone. I was so scared, Finn. I haven't heard from you in two days.." Two days? _Fuck.._ "Anyway. I'm here now, okay? I'm gonna be here for you._ Siempre, cariño._" Sean held him tighter, his lips light against his forehead. Finn gripped at his hoodie, barely even noticing he was wearing his favorite one, fighting back those stupid tears.

"You deserve so much more, Sean." His voice was muffled but he knew the younger boy could hear him just fine, his body tense. "Too broken." His voice broke then, and wasn't that just fitting. Sean moved them slightly just so he could get Finn to look at him. He had a fire in those brown eyes he'd never seen before, a burning determination.

"You're not getting rid of me, Finn McNamara. I'm gonna be here for you, understand?"

The older boy looked up at his boyfriend and just studied his face, the seriousness and tenderness laced in his features. He didn't protest any further, couldn't find it in him. He nodded slowly and placed his hand against the nape of Sean's neck, fingers carding through the short hair there. He took in a deep shaky breath before finally breaking.

"It fucking hurts." The tears were hot as they fell from his eyes and down his temple, ugly noises caught in his throat, "I-I feel it, all-..all the time. I try to pretend t-that.. I don't.. but-..It's always there-" Another choked sob and Sean had his hand in his dreads, trying to calm him but that only made the tattooed boy jump. The look of his boyfriend's wide brown eyes only proved to break his heart. "Sorry.. Not you.." He could only think of his father's rough hands tugging him down--another thing fucking ruined for Finn.

"Sh, it's okay.. Don't have to apologize." Sean cooed as he settled with just running his fingers along the bare skin of Finn's arm, his hand never reaching up to touch his hair again. "Just let it all out, okay? Not going anywhere."

And so Finn does. He unloads years worth of tears onto Sean and the younger boy took it all in, not knowing exactly what to do but that was more than okay. Him just being there, right beside Finn during the hardest of times, would always be enough.

~*~

Pretty soon, Finn's world drastically changed. His father was arrested for sexual assault and while sitting in jail, new charges came up about his illegal car business, something that had always been swept under the rug. The McNamara boys would have to stand trial against the man that raised them. And that was a lot, almost too much because Finn blamed himself for a new thing, for messing up the life Troy and Kyle loved. He hadn't meant it to ruin everything. And that was exactly why he was scared to go back home.

Jared didn't say much on the ride back from the hospital, just gave the occasional glance from the rearview mirror. Finn hadn't checked his phone much either, but he knew his family was trying to get a hold of him. Hannah, Cassidy, Penny, Jacob, Ingrid and Anders. He gave them like two short phone calls, let them all know he was gonna be okay and that was that. He'd tell them more when he was ready.

Jared pulled into the driveway and Finn could feel the air get caught in his throat once he realized his siblings were outside waiting, putting out their cigs and they looked beyond angry and distraught. When the youngest McNamara finally got out of the car, he planted his feet and prepared himself for whatever they were gonna throw at him.  
What he didn't expect, however, was to be pulled into an almost suffocating embrace by both twins at once.

He stood there, tense and stiff as a tree trunk until he finally let himself breathe. _This is okay. I'm safe._ He wrapped his arms around them and returned the hold with just as much desperation, because yeah, he truly did need the support from all of his brothers.

Jared came up behind the twins, towering over all of them and joined in. He was mumbling under his breath, Finn was sure he was praying,

Praying for everything to be okay.

~*~

Therapy was.. difficult. Finn had all of his walls up on instinct, ready to lie when he needed to. The woman in front of him, Dr. Chang, had kind, patient eyes. He looked over her thick afro, then to the shape of her glasses and then down to her plus size figure. Pretty, Finn thought absentmindedly as he looked to her left to find a picture tucked safely away in a frame. Dr. Chang and an Asian man who he automatically assumed to be her husband. She looked a little smaller then, not that it really mattered. And then another photo beside that one, with the same couple but that time with a kid, a little girl, she had to be about two. Cute.

Finn softened then and brought his gaze back to hers, finally answering her question that she asked minutes ago: _How are you feeling today, Mr. McNamara?_

"Please, call me Finn.." He started, his smile small. She nodded, her smile understanding. "Today, I feel.. okay. I guess." His hand ran through his now buzzed head and he grimanced. He'd almost forgotten that he got Troy to cut his dreads off in a haste decision at about four am that day. Dr. Chang took notice of that single action and he could see the gears turning behind those accepting eyes. "Just feel a little naked since I got my hair cut." He added weakly.

"What made you decide to do that, Finn?"

His fists clench and unclench, everything in him telling him to lie. But he couldn't-..wouldn't. He wanted to get better. Not just for Sean, his family or his brothers, but for himself. If he was gonna move on, he was gonna have to get past.. everything.

"Couldn't think of anything but his hands." Finn gave, his nails digging into the skin of his palm.

"Your father, you mean?" She asked, slowly and carefully. Finn closed his eyes and took in a sharp breath. His answer was a short nod.

"Did you feel better after you cut your hair?" That question elicited a dry laugh from the young man, not in a rude or condescending way, but in a way that meant he was about two seconds away from crying.

"Not as much as I thought it would. I thought it'd be this, I don't know, freeing type of feeling." Another sigh. He wasn't good with words when it wasn't a lie or dirty talk. "Still feel the same as I do everyday."

"And what is that feeling?"

His eyes snapped away then and to the window behind her and bit the inside of his cheek. He had no idea how to even describe that clusterfuck of emotions. "It's not a good feeling." His nails dug deeper, almost drawing blood.

She hummed in response, her eyes watching his every move. She still seemed genuine and calm, so Finn tried not to mind it.

"It's just, like.. I'm happy, you know? Despite.._ that._. I have three awesome brothers, an amazing family outside of that, and a great boyfriend. I should be more happy than I really am." He admits with a long sigh.

"Doesn't change the fact that.." His palms were bleeding, shit, "My dad fucking _ruined_ me. Took every ounce of innocence in me like it was nothing to him. 'Cause I was nothing to him. _Am_ nothing to him."

That was it, that was all Finn was willing to give that day. He felt drained and wondered vaguely why he wasn't crying. He should be, shouldn't he? He didn't understand why he felt the same. Was he missing something? Finn met Dr. Chang's gaze expectantly, hoping she'd just tell him what the hell was wrong. That was her job, right? Fuck, he was getting annoyed. His legs bounced and his hands were shaking and damnit he just needed a smoke and to kiss Sean stupid up against a wall.

"Tell me about your family. The one outside the circle of your brothers."

A small smile tugged at his lips as he thought of them, his messy little family. His nerves eased slightly as he spoke.

"Just a bunch of foster kids.. that are way more than just that."

The rest of the session wasn't as heavy and just consisted of small talk and that helped made Finn more comfortable. When it was time to leave, he felt confident that he'd be back, that he wouldn't give up. It was cutting it close there for a second but he figured that was how it had to be.

He went and surprised his family by coming over unannounced and they all pounced on him with hugs and encouraging words and Finn wasn't the least bit surprised when he realized how much he missed them. He was actually starting to feel okay again. He let himself cling to the hope that it would last.

~*~

There was two weeks left until the trial and even though Finn felt okay, his mind was all over the place. Sean kept him grounded, as usual. Kept him up to date on his school work and helped him study for their exams, which was what they were doing up late in Sean's room one Saturday. Nothing was clicking for the older boy though and it made him frustrated. It was his second year as a senior and before he met the younger boy he was sure he was going to end up dropping out by the second semester. He didn't feel that way anymore but it didn't make it any less aggravating.

"Hey, babe, it's okay. Let's take a break." Sean said as he set his pencil down on his desk. He ran his hand over Finn's scalp and smiled like he was glad his boyfriend didn't jump from his touch like before. The tattooed boy leaned into it and nodded, his gaze meeting Sean's.

"Can I have a kiss?" The dark haired boy asked shyly. A smile crept its away into Finn's features as he leaned in. "Always, baby boy." He whispered against the soft brown skin around those full lips, and Finn could feel the slightest shiver coming from the younger boy before finally pressing their mouths together.

Soft, tentative touches at first, Sean being as gentle as humanly possible. Finn appreciated the effort, he truly did, but he needed more. He needed Sean to not be afraid to touch him. He was determined not to be fragile.

"M'not gonna break, Sean." He breathed out in between kisses, "I need you." That seemed to be all the younger boy needed because the kiss finally deepened. Finn couldn't control his sounds if he wanted to. It'd been weeks since they'd done anything remotely out of small, lingering touches and he could feel himself already getting hard just by the feel of Sean's tongue against his.

Finn brought them both to their feet, their lips never parting until Sean fell against his mattress, his chest already heaving as he watched his boyfriend take off his shirt. He didn't waste another moment before pulling his off as well, throwing it next to Finn's.

"Need to feel you, baby. Missed having you like this." He latched onto Sean's neck first, careful not to leave any noticeable marks that time. Except when he ventured lower, along the collar bone and chest. He made sure to suck beautiful bruises against the burning skin. And then he did something entirely new for Sean as he began to swirl his tongue around a hard nipple, his hand teasing the other between his fingers.

"Finn," Sean gasped, "That.. Jesus.." The younger boy could barely speak, could only stutter out moans as his hips rutted against his boyfriend. Finn smirked against the flesh in his mouth and lowered himself even more, his kisses were soft down Sean's tummy and stopped as soon as he reached those too tight jeans. "Want me to take these off, baby?" His boyfriend nodded vigorously in response, hands fumbling all around Finn's head and shoulders. Sean was just as needy and desperate as Finn and that fact only proved to turn the older boy on more.

Both boy's pants were added to the pile of clothes on the floor and Finn was back on his baby boy in two seconds flat, his lips and teeth teasing the waistband of Sean's boxers. He didn't tease for long, however, thanks to his own need growing tight and heavy behind his underwear. He pulled Sean's boxers down his legs, fingers brushing against the muscles there. Sean had nice runner's legs and Finn entertained the thought of them being wrapped around his waist as he fucked him nice and slow. He didn't want to rush anything though, he wasn't sure if Sean was ready. So he settled with just nuzzling his face in the dark curls around his boyfriend's length, taking in the musky and natural smell of the younger boy, before finally trailing his tongue up the shaft and around the head.

"Finn, I.. want.." Sean's throat worked as their gaze met, "I want you inside me." That took the older boy off guard, a sudden nervousness taking over him as he sat up.

"Are you sure, Sean?" Finn asked, his voice husky just from the thought of finally being able to do that. The younger boy nodded, his hands working to pull Finn up until their lips were inches away.

"As long it's okay with you, I mean.." Sean said through a small smirk. Finn shook his head in disbelief, his grin wide before giving his boyfriend a heated kiss. "'Course it's okay with me. Always gonna be okay." The kiss was softer after that, his hands moving gingerly across Sean's torso and to his boxers. The younger boy had to wiggle a little to get them off but the kiss never broke, not until the piece of fabric was thrown into the pile.

"Lube," Sean gasped, his lips slick and swollen from their kiss, "Nightstand." Finn's brow raised as he pulled out the container and a condom from it. "Wanted to be prepared." He added shyly, his cheeks a darker hue. The older boy smiled in response before he gave a feather soft kiss to his boyfriend's forehead.

"Gonna loosen you up, baby." He whispered as he spread some lube onto his fingers. Sean licked his lips and shut his eyes, visibly trying his hardest to relax. Finn prodded the puckered hole before pushing in a single digit, watching as brown eyes flew open. "Shit."

"It's okay. I got you, baby boy. Just relax." He cooed as he moved slowly, in and out, watching for any signs of pain. Soon one finger turned into two and then later three, and Finn watched as Sean's face changed and contoured into pure pleasure, little moans slipping from his parted lips. Finn hooked his fingers, stretching him gently, all the while looking for a specific bundle of nerves.

"Such a good boy.. Does it feel good?" Finn asked, his voice deep and husky. Sean's body convulsed and the older boy knew he found exactly what he was looking for. "Yes!" Sean panted as he pushed his hips down against Finn's fingers. "I need you.. please.." He begged, his hand wrapped around his aching and leaking cock. Sean looked too good, too beautiful, begging for Finn like that. Begging for Finn like he was the only thing he could ever want or need.

He removed his fingers from the tight heat, much to Sean's dismay, so he could slide the condom down his length. "I got you, baby." He said as he used the lube to slick himself up. Finn pushed Sean's legs apart as he aligned himself, the head of his cock prodding the still wet hole. Green eyes locked with brown as he pushed inside, the heat engulfing him instantly and it took everything in Finn to stay still so his boyfriend could adjust.

"So tight, Sean, fuck-.. You okay?" The older boy asked, his hands stroking up and down Sean's stomach and chest. He watched as the younger boy licked his lips before giving a small nod.

"I-it kinda burns, but it's okay. You can move." Finn gave it a few more seconds before doing just that, pushing in slowly until he was all the way in.

His pace was gentle, their fingers intertwining as he pulled almost all the way out, just to push back inside. All signs of discomfort vanished from Sean's features and were replaced by soft, breathy moans. "Feels good.. need more.." Finn gave him exactly what he asked for. His thrusts were still slow but deep, his hips rolling hard as he moved to grip at the back of Sean's thighs.

"Damn, baby boy.. so beautiful.. so good for me." Finn babbled, his voice still barely above a whisper because everyone else in the house was sleeping. He couldn't help it but babble, however. He'd never seen a sight so brilliant. He'd never had anybody want him so much, during sex or otherwise. The feeling only grew as Sean reached for him and pulled him down. Finn released the grip on Sean's thighs and fell into him, his boyfriends arms wrapped around his shoulders, his face in the crook of the younger boy's neck.

"Never gonna want this with anyone else.. only you.." Sean sobbed out in moans, his hips moving to meet Finn's thrusts. A possessive noise spilled from the older boy's throat, a sound of agreement. His strokes were deeper, hitting the bundle of nerves at exactly the right angle. He could feel Sean's cock rub against his stomach, slick from pre come. His walls tightened around him and Finn knew his baby boy wasn't going to last much longer, and he was in the same boat.

"Come for me, Sean. Come for me."

That simple command was all it took for Sean. He cried out Finn's as he came, his grip tight as his back arched while he spilled his release against their bellies. The older boy lost it at that same moment, his hips rocking back faster as they rode out their orgasms.

"You did so good. Felt so good. Love you so much." Finn felt drunk as his softening cock slipped from Sean's entrance. He managed to reach down and grab the condom and thankfully Sean had a small trash can nearby so he could just as quickly get back into Sean's arms.

"Sean?" Finn called for him once he realized how quiet the younger boy was. He supported himself on his elbow so he could look down at him, at those brown eyes that were filled with an emotion Finn couldn't decipher. His hand raised and planted itself on the older boy's cheek, thumb stroking the still flushed cheek.

"You're amazing, Finn. And I'm not just saying that because of the sex. I'm saying it because it's true and you need to know it. And.. I just.. I just wanna stay here and be able to tell you that every day." His voice kinda broke near the end and he shut his eyes like he was trying to force back tears.

"Aw, thank you.. but what's the matter? Of course you can tell me that as much as you want.. and I'll be tellin' you the same. Come on now, baby boy. Open those pretty eyes." His smile had been so warm, he had been so happy. That was until Sean did as he was told. Tears spilled from those pretty eyes and sobs were stuck in his throat, making his whole upper body shake.

"Sean? Why you cryin'? Talk to me.." Finn begged as he worked to wipe away those still hot tears. It was no use, the stream wouldn't stop.

"I-I love y-you.. so fucking much.. it's not fair." Sean sobbed. The older boy was confused. He didn't understand the problem. They'd just made love for the first time and Sean was crying and not in a good way. His mind scrambled all around trying to figure out what he'd done wrong to make Sean feel that way.

"Just breathe. Please. I'm here, just breathe." He went with cuddling instead of being stuck in his own head. Finn figured Sean would explain when he was able. He soothed Sean until the crying stopped, until his shoulders relented and his breathing went close to normal.

"Now--if you're able, tell me.. what's not fair?"

Sean rolled onto his back and rubbed at his eyes. It took him another minute before finally speaking, like whatever he was struggling to say was too hard or too important and Finn wanted to jump out of his own skin.

"My.. my mom.. she's back. It's been ten years but she's back 'cause she's sick apparently and my dad, he.." Sean shook his head as he trailed off and Finn was in shock. Why hadn't he told him about his mom? With all his shit going on, he'd forgotten to check on Sean, to see what he was going through-damnit.

"When did you find out?" Finn asked, his fingers trailing gently over Sean's still hairless chest. It heaved against his hand as the younger boy let out a deep breath.

"A couple weeks ago.. I was gonna tell you, I swear. But with everything that had happened.." He trailed off but Finn knew exactly what he was talking about. What his dad did, the trail.. Bile formed in the back of Finn's throat as shame washed over him. He was seriously the worst boyfriend in the world, letting his shit overshadow Sean's. He never wanted that.

"I'm so sorry, Sean.."

Diaz was up in an instant, his hands clasped around Finn's cheeks, "Don't apologize! It's just bad timing, is all.. I really don't want to move. I want to be with you." And suddenly Finn's world crashed around him. Sean said more than he meant to, he could tell as those eyes grew too wide for his head. It all made too much sense.

Sean wasn't upset because his mom was back or because she was sick.

He was upset because he had to move away.. and leave Finn behind.

For the first time in a long time, Finn had no words. His mouth wouldn't work and honestly that was okay because if he tried to speak it would have just turned made him a hyperventilating mess. It was truly amazing to the nineteen year old how cruel life could really be. Like he couldn't catch a goddamn break for just one second.

And what was he supposed to do? Get mad? Protest? It wasn't like it was Sean's fault. It wasn't like this was all put into place to vex him even though it felt like it, even though it truly felt like his lungs were about to collapse.

"Please.. talk to me.." It was Sean's turn to beg. His voice shook like he was about to cry again and Finn really couldn't handle that.

"...Why?" He breathed, "Why do you have to go?" Finn managed even though it fucking hurt to talk.

"My dad.. he still loves her. Even though she left.. he still fuckin' loves her and wants to be by her side through this. And that means Daniel and I gotta go, too." His head dipped and fell onto Finn's shoulder and the older boy wrapped around him in the hopes that time would just stop.

"I wanna stay with you. I'm eighteen. You're nineteen. We're legally grownups. I'm working, you're working. I don't see why we can't just.." Sean trailed off, his fingers trailing absentmindedly over the hairs growing over Finn's chest.

The old Finn would have leaped at the opportunity. He wouldn't have cared about the consequences or the struggles. The Finn beside Sean could barely stomach the thought, however. Sean deserved more than that. Maybe even he deserved more than that.

"More than anything, I'd want you here with me. But.." Finn started, his throat working, "It's unrealistic. My apprenticeship and your part time job would barely cover rent. besides.. You gotta finish school and go to college, Sean." Everything in him hurt. He didn't want to talk like that, didn't want to just shoot down Sean's one sliver of hope. But he could tell with the way Sean's fingers stopped moving and laid flat on his chest that he knew he was right.

"We don't have to decide anything now. But we can make this work. I believe that with all my heart." Sean said as he pulled the duvet over their naked bodies. "Let's just go to sleep, okay? We can talk about it more in the morning." He practically pleaded, like talking about it was the last thing he wanted to do. Finn silently agreed and just wrapped his arms around him, maybe a little too tightly, not that Sean minded.

Finn didn't know how much time had passed but he couldn't fall asleep. He wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that they could make it work.

All he really knew for sure was that he was gonna try as hard as he could. He wasn't going to give up.

~*~

Mr. Diaz let them stay until the trial. He had been real kind about it, he understood why Finn needed Sean by his side. Finn was beyond grateful for that because as soon as the day came, it felt like he was gonna evaporate into thin air. He felt like he probably would have too if Sean wasn't there.

Especially since he wasn't exactly prepared for how gruesome it would be. Their lawyer had told them it'd be hard, but that was an understatement. When his father's eyes landed on him, his world ran cold. He had feral look in his eyes, like he wanted to kill him. His face was beaten similar to Jared's but way worse. Sean grabbed his hand and he was finally able to tear his eyes away and sit down next to his brothers. Sean sat in the seats behind him, just close enough to know he was there, that he wasn't leaving.

Not yet, anyway. But he decided he'd rather not think about that.

The rape charge was brought up first and that was when reality was starting to set in. They called Jared to the stand and had him explain what he saw, the bruises still present but fading on his features.

"I heard screaming first. Finn screaming." Jared started, his posture straight but fists tight, his knuckles almost white. "I got up as fast as I could, but when I came in.. It was too late." He looked at Finn then, an apology in his hazel eyes. The youngest brother just shook his head. Jared had nothing to be sorry for.

"I know it's hard to talk about, but would you mind going into more detail?" His lawyer asked. Jared grimaced, a look on his face that said, seriously? But she didn't relent, only encouraged him to press on.

"Jesus.." Jared muttered before rubbing a hand over his face, breathing in to prepare himself. "When I walked in and cut the lights on, Finn was naked and our.. our father," He punctuated the word, glaring right at the older man, "Was behind him, holding him down, not even caring that his youngest son was begging him to stop!"

He had to calm himself then, his father's lawyer reprimanding him for raising his voice. Jared took in another deep breath before settling his glare back down to the man who caused it all.

"It only took me a second to realize what was goin' on. After that one second, I yanked him by his shirt and I couldn't control myself--I beat him. All I could see was years worth of abuse that I should have noticed but never did. It took my other two brothers to get me off of him and by that time our dad was knocked out cold. Troy called the police while Kyle and I had to.. had to get Finn dressed. He was just dead weight in my arms, like he.. was just.. done." Jared blinked away tears, his throat working as their lawyer nodded sympathetically. Finn couldn't help but spare a glance at his dad who at that point was arguing with his own lawyer silently.

And then suddenly it was Finn's turn to take the stand and for the second time that day he felt like he was going to spontaneously combust. He didn't even have time to look back at Sean before he was already up there, swearing to tell the whole truth and nothing but. He also felt like a damn child when his lawyer started asking him personal questions. The first one was when did it start? And it already felt like the room was closing in.

"I-I.. eight. I was eight when it started." Talking about it to one person was one thing, but a room full of people was something completely different. He tried to keep his eyes on his lawyer and not on his brothers' devastated faces. Sean's mirrored theirs and it was already too much. He promised himself he wouldn't cry-he didn't want to give his father the satisfaction-but it was hard. He had to take in a long breath before responding to her again, "Can you describe the latest attack for me please?" Like he hadn't already talked about it a million times over to police and his therapist.

Finn didn't fight it, however. He explained in detail what happened and for the millionth time he relived it, feeling so hollow he thought he'd crumble. When it was finally over with, he was able to sit down. He was surprised that his dad's lawyer didn't have any questions and Finn could tell his was just as confused.

That was until his father was the one to take the stand and took the same exact oath as Finn did and he wanted to scoff, like he'd tell the truth. Before Mr. McNamara's lawyer couldn't even ask anything before the older man opened his mouth,

"I did it. No real way to lie about it." The room filled with shocked gasps, except for Finn who managed to lock eyes with his dad, the same hazel as Jared's but not even remotely similar in terms of comfort, and it felt like his heart stopped.

"Every time I look into your eyes, I see her. Every time I was buried deep inside of you, I felt her. You, son, are my only connection I have left to my Sara. And when you changed.. you ruined her. I tried to stop after that, I truly did. Tried to only see you as the disgusting piece of trash you wanted to be. But the need kept eating at me, every single day and night. And then I knew I had to have you again, Finn, to feel her one last time. And I say last time because after I was done," He stopped for just a moment, letting out one of the most sinister laughs Finn had never heard, "I was going to wrap my hands around your throat and choke the life out of your worthless--"

Finn's mind jumbled into pieces and could only vaguely hear the judge's gavel, and then her demanding silence. His brothers were holding onto him but the only thing he could hear were his own breaths and the rapid beating of his heart. Another hand reached over from behind him and touched the middle of his back, and warmth cascaded over his whole body and suddenly he could see again. "I'm here, it's gonna be okay." He could hear Sean whisper from behind him and his breathing calmed enough for him to realize his dad was being taken away.

He was stunned. What he fuck just happened? He thought to himself as the room cleared out. His lawyer explained they were taking a short recess because of Mr. McNamara's outburst, which she claimed threw his whole case away. Like it was supposed to be a good thing that his father's words made Finn rush to the bathroom to vomit. He didn't know if he could continue the trial. He figured, yeah, the rape charge was a done deal, but then the whole other thing about the illegal business still had to be carried out. Selling stolen cars seemed way smaller than the years of abuse he put up with and _fuck_, he just wanted everything to be over with.

"Finn, can I come in please?" Sean's voice echoed through the otherwise empty bathroom. The older boy didn't even hesitate, he got up from the floor and opened the stall door and before he knew it he was in Sean's arms. He promised himself he wouldn't cry but as soon as his head hit his boyfriend's shoulder, he broke it instantly and he was sobbing into Sean's nice suit.

"C-can't believe he said that.." He stuttered in between his cries. Sean rubbed comforting circles in his back, whispering encouraging words into his ear. The older boy calmed after a few minutes and Sean pulled away, but not far. He used his thumbs to brush away Finn's tears and pressed his forehead against his.

"You're so brave, Finn. It's gonna be over soon." Sean cooed, "I love you so much." He said before giving him a small kiss which Finn could barely process as gross since he'd just threw up his breakfast simply because that little action was so comforting and needed. He tried not to let himself think about how much he was going to miss it.

Thankfully, the rest of the trial didn't last as long. Finn didn't have to do much because it had already been openly admitted that he didn't partake in the 'family business'-god Finn knew he was gonna have to stop calling it that. And since they took the original deal and put out as much information on their dad as they could, his older brothers were left with just two years of probation and a year of community service.

Mr. McNamara had zero sympathy from the jury or the judge. That along with the amount of evidence stacked against him, he got twenty years in prison. Finn didn't look up as his dad was being taken away, but he could feel his eyes on him as his brothers and Sean hugged him, their cheeks stained with relieved tears and Finn knew his face mirrored theirs.

The drive back to the McNamara household was silent. Jared and the twins were in the older brother's truck while Sean and Finn were behind in the younger boy's little two door car. Sean kept one hand on Finn's the entire ride and the tattooed boy held on tight because he wasn't prepared for the change his life was about to take, for the changes that already took place.

Once they all pulled into the long drive way, still not much was said besides Jared mumbling about making dinner. Troy and Kyle nodded the couple's direction and took off in Jared's truck and Finn hoped to God they weren't about to do anything to fuck up their probation already. He kept his concerns silent and just took Sean through his house, something he'd never thought they'd do.

The house looked the same to Finn, and even felt the same. He still felt the anxiety of his father looking over his shoulder and he vaguely wondered if that feeling would ever go away. He was on autopilot as he led Sean into his room. It was clean and almost empty. His brothers cleaned it out, removed everything that had anything to do with their dad.

That included his bed. The same full sized bed he'd had since he was young. Jared threw it out while Finn was in the hospital and replaced it with a nicer mattress and even said he'd let Finn pick out the frame later on. The younger brother didn't feel like he deserved such treatment but it was nice to not have to lay in the same bed anymore.

Sean walked over to the corner of the room where the painting was finally hung up. He trailed his fingers over the canvas, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Finn's long legs moved on their own until they were behind the younger boy, his arms around his waist and his head leaning against his shoulder. Sean let out a shudder of a breath before his hands clasped themselves on Finn's arms.

"Sean?"

The boy in his arms hummed in response, body easing into Finn's even though there was a slight tremor there, like he was scared of what Finn was going to say, like he was going to bring up the elephant in the room. Finn's grip tightened and his breath hitched in his throat because fuck-not even Sean wanted to talk about it.

"kiss me?" Was the only thing he could really say. Sean relaxed and turned once Finn's grip loosened, his hands moved and rested themselves on his boyfriend's cheek, right over the slight stubble since Finn hadn't cared to shave. The younger boy closed the distance and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss.

Tender and slow and full of love. Finn could feel it radiating off of Sean and it made his legs tremble and go out, and suddenly they were on the mattress and he was covered in all that was Sean Diaz. His warm body hovered over him, his deep brown eyes looking at him like he was actually precious and it was almost too much.

Finn didn't feel precious. He always felt that way about himself, for as long as he could remember. He felt too small for his body sometimes, like one step and his shell would crumble and all that would be left would be the tiny eight year old who had everything taken away from him.

The feeling had began to fade once he met his family and even more so when he met Sean. He felt like he was starting to grow, slowly growing into his outer shell. And even with his dad hurting him again, he still believed he'd be okay. The thought of losing Sean, though..

"Finn.."

The older boy snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Sean, their eyes locking as his fingers worked to unbutton Finn's shirt. The tattooed boy licked his lips and nodded as he started doing the same for Sean's. Soon enough their suit jackets and button downs were on the floor and their lips were together once more, only this time it was more desperate and messy, their heavy breathing filling the otherwise silent room.

Finn's hands were everywhere, touching Sean's skin like he'd never get the chance again. Sean was no better, his warm hands had Finn making noises he'd never heard himself make before.

But he wanted more, so much more.

"Want you inside me, Sean." His voice was surprisingly clear despite the husky undertone. He watched as brown eyes widened, something that didn't match the low moan that escaped the younger boy's throat.

"Are you sure?" Sean asked, sounding breathless. Finn understood the hesitancy, he truly did. But he had never been more sure about anything else. He wanted to experience Sean in every way possible, especially since he only had a couple days left before..

Before Sean moved back to Beaver Creek and started his life over again.

That single thought brought his hands up to Sean's belt, skillfully pulling it through the loops and onto the floor in seconds. "Never been more sure 'bout anything in my life, baby boy." Finn said as he tore his own belt off, his fingers working on his button and zipper, which wasn't working out all that well because his hands started shaking and he couldn't understand why.

"Stop, stop.. I got you." Sean said as he pulled Finn's hands away and placed them beside his head. "Gonna take care of you.." The younger boy whispered as he pulled Finn's slacks and boxers down his legs. Sean kissed up Finn's inner thighs, the feeling made the tattooed boy shiver and his cock stiffen. He wasn't used to such care and he tried to ignore the little voice in the back of his head that said he'd never get the chance to get used to it.

He pushed those negative thoughts away so he could focus on Sean and the way he stroked Finn's balls with his tongue, then up the shaft and around the head. "Lube?" The younger boy's voice was barely above a whisper but Finn heard it clear as day and instantly rummaged through his nightstand until he felt the container and a condom.

Sean kept the tortuous pace of his tongue as a lubed finger pressed inside Finn's hole. He could hear the younger boy moan as he was able to get passed the first knuckle and then the next.

"Opening up so good for me.." Sean praised, his voice small but husky, as he brought the length into his mouth and Finn couldn't control the string of _only for you , just for you_ that left his lips. He knew he wasn't going to last long if Sean kept going, and the rising urge only got worse once a second finger was added.

"B-baby.. you gotta-if you don't stop soon I'll come." Finn had warned, but Sean didn't seem too bothered. Instead, he took as much of Finn's cock as he could as a third finger brushed up against his prostate and suddenly he was coming all down Sean's throat. He could barely register slight coughing until he looked up and saw Sean's face.

Lips red and swollen with saliva and come dripping down his chin, his eyes filled with tears from his mouth being fucked. Finn knew they weren't sad tears, just ones out of reflex but it didn't stop him from sitting up and cleaning him up.

"Made me feel so good, baby boy." Finn cooed as he wiped off the last bit of his come. "Still want you inside me. Want to feel you, Sean. Wanna remember this for when.." He let himself trail off and pulled his boyfriend into a heated kiss instead, not bothered by the taste of his own semen, and kept pulling until he was back on his back with Sean on top of him.

"Slick yourself up, baby." Finn instructed softly. Sean nodded and did as he was told. Once he was done sliding the condom on, he brought himself in between the older boy's legs, aligning himself with the still wet entrance.

"Now just press inside.. yeah.. just like that.." Finn breathed as Sean slowly made his way inside with little resistance. It was just a stretch, a really good stretch for Finn. It didn't hurt or burn, he just wanted more. "You don't have to be gentle with me.. I can take it."

Though the statement was true, Sean wasn't really listening to it. He leaned down and sucked beautiful bruises into Finn's skin, his thrusts slow but deep, hitting Finn's prostate every time. It was enough to get the tattooed boy hard again.

Sean never was one to talk during sex unless he was spoken to, and when he did it was broken whispers and exclamations. That was okay, more than okay actually. Finn loved listening to his sounds, the breathy mix of moans and groans. Especially right then with Sean buried deep inside of him, his pace getting a little more erratic as Finn moaned out his words of encouragement.

"Feel so good in me, baby boy. Gonna make me come again." Finn rasped as he wrapped his legs around Sean's waist. The younger of the two quickened his pace, as much as he could with those legs around him. Finn could hear the faint whisper fall of his boy's lips, telling him how tight he was, and that he was so close, urging him to come with him. Fuck.

Finn wrapped his arms around him as his body followed through with Sean's command, his come hot and sticky between them but he didn't care, he felt too good, too high off Sean. He swore he could feel Sean's cock pulsate as he came, moaning Finn's name loud and broken.

They laid like that for awhile, with Sean on top of him and Finn's arms still tightly wrapped around him. Finn closed his eyes and let his hands roam over Sean's back and shoulders, nails lightly grazing over his skin.

Finn let them have that moment. Let himself just be able to hold him close, breathe him in. Only letting him loose for just a second so he could throw the condom away and then he was back in his arms. They didn't have to talk-not yet anyway. They could stay like that for the rest of the night and it'd be okay.

Obviously, Finn's body had a completely different idea as tears suddenly spilled from his eyes, sobs wracked through his chest and fuck-they really had to work on not making that a habit after sex. Soon enough Sean was crying, too, muttering apologizes into Finn's freckled shoulder and just-no, Sean shouldn't be apologizing for anything.

"We can't t-talk about anything if we're cryin' like this." Finn stuttered after what felt thirty minutes of crying. He tried to make it sound light hearted but his voice was too hoarse, too broken from sobbing. He knew Sean was in the same boat as he muttered a small okay, and sat up. Finn bent down and picked up his pair of boxers because it was nearby and used to clean up to mess between them.

And then they were both sitting up and looking at each other, still naked as can be but neither of them minded. Sean spoke first, clearing his throat as he shifted to move the blanket over their legs.

"You said.. so, you really think it's not going to work if I stay?" Sean asked, his teeth working at his bottom lip as he looked up at Finn expectantly. The older boy knew the it Sean was referring was their relationship and it made his chest ache. That wasn't at all what Finn meant.

"That's not what I.. look. I just, I'm just trying not to be selfish about this, okay? You need to finish school, go to college.. It'll be really hard for us to try to manage bills and finish school. Not impossible, but.." Finn rubbed at his face and heaved a sigh. He truly felt as though regardless of anyway he worded it, he was going to look like an ass.

"I need you to know that I love you. I do not want you to leave. You.. you keep me sane, Sean Diaz." Finn let out in a quick breath. Sean nodded, something that looked like relief washed over his features, but he still just sat back and listened.

"Which is why I think this can work from a distance.. I believe in this, in us, Sean." He truly did believe in that they could work, felt it deep in his bones. Sean gave him a smile and got into his space, fitting nicely in between Finn's legs and let his head rest against the older boy's chest.

"M'never gonna give up on this, Finn. Never."

Finn couldn't help but cling to those words.

~*~

Sean left two days later. Finn was there, helping them pack their stuff into the moving van. And when it was all over, he wasn't expecting Daniel to run up to him and hug him in an almost too tight embrace. Finn couldn't help but smile down at the kid as he ruffled through his hair.

And then Mr. Diaz approached him, his smile sad. In not so many words, he admitted that he felt horrible having to separate him and Sean, especially after everything Finn had been through. Finn did what he did best and just smiled, his face deceivingly calm as he said he understood.

And he did understand. He truly did. Didn't make it hurt any less though.

He and Lyla Park helped Sean pack some stuff into his car after that, and once they were done she pulled Finn into a tight embrace, tears running down her flushed cheeks. Her and Sean became best friends during his stay there and Finn mentally cursed himself for not getting to know her better.

"It'll be okay, I promise." Sean whispered to her, his hands working small circles on her back. After what felt like ages she huffed out a breath and backed away, nodding towards Finn with a small smile. And then suddenly he was being pulled in by his jacket and his lips met Sean's.

Finn instantly forgot about the kid and Mr. Diaz and even Lyla for the moment as his long arms wrapped around his boyfriend's shoulders, kissing back with just as much passion and damnit-he was gonna miss that.

"Call me as soon as you get settled, okay?" Was what Finn had said after they pulled away. He watched as Sean got into the driver's side, blinking away tears and Finn was no better as his nails dug into his palms.

Lyla and Finn watched as they drove away, the surrounding them all too tense. He could hardly figure out why he couldn't get his mouth to move, to form just one sentence at least. She took the lead surprisingly, with a hesitant hand on his shoulder.

"..It _will_ be okay." Her voice was small but kind, and it caused his tense shoulders to finally relax. He smiled down at her and thanked her. Lyla responded with a squeeze to his shoulder and another small smile, and then she was gone, walking down the street to her house.

Soon enough, Finn was alone. The moving van, Sean's car and even Lyla were gone and the home behind him was empty. Finn shook his head and got back into his truck, knowing he'd be waiting by his phone all day until he heard from his boyfriend.

And he did, Finn had no doubt. Sean had called him around midnight, his voice so tired and strained. Seeing his mom again tired him out the most, Finn was sure of it. He listened to Sean talk about his mom, how his grandparent's house wasn't big enough for them, and how seeing his parents together made him sick. Which soon turned into him telling Finn how much he missed him, and how much he loved him. It was all sweet, not sad, on the surface anyway.

"I know I'm not there, but.. please, Finn. Finish high school while you still can, okay? Promise me you will." It was random and took Finn off guard. He guessed he should have expected it. When he talked about the main reason why Sean couldn't stay, which was finishing school, he'd only talked about Sean. Finn had no idea what he wanted to do besides work and save up money, school being the very last thing on his mind.

But if his boy wanted him to finish.. he sure as hell would.

"..I promise, Sean. I promise."

~*~

Finn made good on his promise and managed to get enough credits to graduate. It was hard and every part of him wanted to give up, but he didn't. He had help from Sean, his family, and his brothers. And in return, he offered the same motivation for them.

His brothers finally got their GED, pretty soon after their father was convicted. They figured they would need it to get their first real jobs, which in return helped them keep their house. And despite many protests from Finn, they refused to let him help with bills unless they desperately needed it, which wasn't often.

His family managed to graduate high school as well. It was a close one for sure, but they all made it. Hannah was doing well for herself despite her issues with her mom, and she even managed to get a scholarship. Cassidy started uploading singing videos on YouTube the year prior and got noticed by a big record label and Finn was beyond excited for her.

Penny was on his way to be a male model, and his boyfriend Jinx was there to support on his journey as it was soon gonna take them to LA. Jacob, on the other hand, only wanted one thing: his little sister. He worked hard during school so he could afford his own apartment and was worked even harder to get her out of the system and into his care, and he was already so close to doing that and Finn was proud that his shyest friend was finally coming out of his shell to stand his ground.

Anders and Ingrid, connected to the hip as ever, got engaged at graduation. Anders proposed in their Swedish language and she of course she had said yes. They had already moved out of the foster home around the middle of the year, and while they were happy, they struggled a lot, and barely even finished school.

It was the struggle that scared Finn. He didn't want to have to go through that with Sean. Which, in hindsight, seemed just a little silly. They'd struggle regardless, everybody would at some point. It didn't stop the ache he'd feel during the day while at school or work, and at night after they'd get of video chat. They were good despite that, more than good. Sean almost seemed happy whenever they were on the phone, talking about Daniel and school and never mentioning his mother unless Finn asked, but that was a different subject entirely. Sean had mentioned Chris once before. He said he was doing really well and that he and Daniel still manage to talk everyday. That little detail made Finn happy.

What made him happier, however, was when Sean finally mentioned he got accepted into an art school in Seattle. He was coming back and it made Finn swell with happiness, more than he'd had in months. Finn had already knew what it was he was saving all his money for, even if he was too shy to say it out loud. And then Sean admitted he saved everything he earned as well, so they could move in together. It really hadn't been more than a fantasy for Finn, but as soon as Sean said those words, he could see his dream slowly come back to life.

In the mean time, things were coming to a new normal. Amala moved in during the summer and Jared had been right, she was beautiful, kind and so intelligent. She became something sort of a mother figure to all of Jared's brothers, with her words of encouragement and her awesome cooking skills-it was hard not to become attached. Finn could see why Jared loved her. And she loved him too. It'd be clear as day as she would look up at him, her smile big and bright. Finn could hardly wait to have that with Sean.

Finn found a small studio apartment in the city near the end of the summer. It had some problems, but the rent was decent, and it was close to Sean's school. _I don't care about the little issues, Finn, I just wanna be able to come home to you._ Those words drove him to sign the lease and get the keys. He lived there alone for only a couple weeks before his boyfriend finally drove down. They met on campus and as soon as Sean saw the tattooed boy from across the parking lot he threw himself into his arms.

It felt like his world finally slipped back into place in that very moment, like every dark cloud that hung over him just disappeared and all he could see and feel was the bright sunshine that was Sean Diaz. He let some happy tears slip from his eyes as the shorter boy kissed him, and he could feel Sean's own tears slipping against his cheek.

"Hey." Sean whispered as he pulled away, his hands still clasped around Finn's, a wide grin. The older boy let out a shaky laugh, "Hey." For a second, he seemed to forget that there were other people on the planet until Daniel tapped on Finn's arm.

"Superwolf!" Finn swooped down and pulled the boy into a big hug and Daniel's laughter echoed through the parking lot and Finn had to admit that he missed that, too. Mr. Diaz came up to him as he let Daniel down and greeted the tattooed boy with a kind and firm handshake.

They toured the campus after that and got Sean's schedule and that was all they needed there. Next was to go to their new home to unpack. It was in that moment where Sean's belongings were stacked in the living room when it finally sunk in that they were living together. Mr. Diaz and Daniel had already left, promising that they'd visit during the holidays. So he was finally alone with Sean for the first time in months and he had no idea what to do with himself.

Still familiar arms wrap around his waist as Sean rested his head against the nape of Finn's neck, his breathing left goosebumps and made the older boy shiver. "Finn.." It was barely a whisper, but Finn heard it and turned so he was face to face with Sean. It was late at night by that point, the only light that was on in the house was in the kitchen and the moonlight was the only thing shinning through the living room, hitting Sean's face just right. He looked so beautiful then, looking up at Finn like.. like he loved him more than anything else in the world.

Finn cupped his cheeks then and leaned in, their lips just gently brushing against each other. Slow kisses that made the older boy's heart swell. Sean opened his mouth just slightly and let his tongue trail over Finn's bottom lip and without any resistance, Finn let him in, deepening the kiss while still keeping the slow pace. The older boy groaned into it, his hands falling down to Sean's hip, his skin burning behind the thin fabric.

They broke the kiss just so Finn could get the offending piece of fabric off of Sean's body, because suddenly there was too much cloth between them, and back to the kiss they went. This time, however, Finn made sure to take control as his tongue invaded Sean's wet cavern, getting as much as he could as they made their way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing behind them.

Before he knew it he had Sean sprawled underneath him, naked and breathing heavy. The room was dark, they had been too preoccupied to find the switch, the room only illuminated by the moonlight since they had no curtains yet. It wasn't the first time Finn was struck by Sean's beauty and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Babe, please." Sean begged, his hips rutting up against Finn's. "Need you inside.. Been so long.." Diaz was practically whining and it made the older boy curse under his breath. It really had been so long. Finn needed it just as much as Sean.

"I hear you, baby boy. Just gotta work you open." He was glad he thought to put the lube and condoms in the nightstand before his boyfriend got there. He made quick work to slick up his fingers, and couldn't help but grin at the hissed yes that came from the younger boy as a finger made its way inside.

Finn couldn't see any outright pain coming from Sean, but he could feel how tight he already was around his finger. Sean didn't seem to mind though as he pushed down against the single digit.

"I-I've been.. fingering myself a lot lately.. t-training myself for this-uh-" Sean gasped, "Please, more! I-I can take it." The image itself was almost too much for Finn. He nodded after a heavy breath, gently prodding the tiny pucker with a second finger. He was pleasantly surprised to find little resistance.

"Wow.." The tattooed boy scooted low so he could watch. "You're doing so good, baby. Just a few more minutes." He scissored his fingers, stretching his love gently. He used the opportunity to add a third finger, and only then did Sean show any sign of discomfort. The older boy paused his movements and waited for his boy to adjust.

"It's okay, Finn. I'm okay. Don't stop." Sean breathed once he relaxed again. Finn licked his lips and nodded, his fingers working at an even pace. He wanted to at least get four in there, so there'd be less resistance when the time came. It would mean less discomfort for Sean and Finn wouldn't have to hold back as much. He would though, he knew he would, for his baby boy's sake.

But God he needed it. He needed to be inside Sean again, or have Sean in him, it didn't even matter. He just needed to be close to Sean in that special way that he was sure he was never going to want with anyone else ever again.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed since adding the fourth digit, he was too busy watching Sean buck his hips into them, too busy listening to those delicious sounds. But when those breathy little moans turned into babbled begging, he knew Sean was ready. Finn kissed him deeply before reaching for the condoms. Before he could get his hand on it however, Sean grabbed his wrist.

"Finn, can we, um.. not use those?" He asked breathlessly and quietly, his fingers trailing up the older boy's arm, "I want to feel all of you this time." He bit his lip after the words spilled out, and Finn shivered at the request. His fingers twitched near the box, unsure on what to do.

"Are you sure? I've.. done a lot of things, Sean. Before you." Finn whispered, shame laced in his tone. Sean shook his head and sat up, his fingers settling at the nape of his boyfriend's neck.

"I. Don't. Care." Sean emphasized each word, and Finn could physically feel how serious he was. The tattooed boy could only nod and hoped that the fact that he mostly used condoms in his life worked in their favor. He let himself be pulled down in a deep kiss, and didn't even mind when Sean flipped their positions. Sean straddled Finn's hips, moaning hotly in the older boy's mouth as Finn's hands gripped his ass.

"You gonna ride me?" Finn asked, voice gruff with arousal. "Yeah," Sean breathed as he pushed back on Finn's hands. McNamara gave Diaz another long kiss before getting the lube, slicking his length generously. He kept the tube close when he was done, just in case.

"Go slow, baby boy. Don't hurt yourself." Finn watched as Sean lowered himself, aligning himself with Finn's cock. He could feel the head push against the younger boy's still slick hole, _"Fuck,"_ They both cursed as it breached through. Even though Finn had used four fingers, his boy was still impossibly tight. He forced himself to lay still, not moving an inch, just looking out for any signs of discomfort as Sean seated himself fully.

Sean shivered and tensed, "Holy shit. So full." He shut his eyes tight and stayed still, breathing in and out to calm himself. Finn didn't think life could get any better until he finally saw Sean perched on top of him, his cock fully seated in that tight little ass.

"_Holy shit_ is right. Goddamn, baby boy." Finn licked his lips and drank in the sight of Sean finally moving, his hips going up and down at a slow pace. "Does it hurt?" The older boy asked through a shaky breath. Sean shook his head, his growing hair flopping with him.

"Feels so fucking good." Sean groaned as he threw his head back, his hips finding their own rhythm. Finn's hands were everywhere in an instant, ghosting over Sean's nipples and down his thighs, so close to cock that was currently leaking pre come on his stomach. "Finn, please. I need.. I need you to move."

Finn had been so preoccupied, he'd barely moved. "So sorry, baby. I gotcha." He thrusted upwards, hitting Sean in that special spot just right. It caused a scream to spill from the younger boy's throat, a sound that made Finn's cock pulsate in the tight heat.

"That's right. Be as loud as you want." This was their home. No more parents or brothers. Just them, in their own bed, in the home that they share. "Fuckin' love hearing you scream for me." Sean whimpered at the sound of Finn's admission and fell forward, his hands catching the headboard. His hips rolled a little too hard and Finn lost it, his arms wrapped around Sean's waist and pulled him in, Sean's full bodyweight on top of him.

"Finn-oh fuck-" Sean gasped as his boyfriend pounded into him. Finn pulled his knees up and bucked up violently. "Yes!" Sean moaned, his nails digging into the tattooed boy's shoulders.

"Yeah," Finn breathed, "yeah, shit-So close, baby. Where-Where do you want it?" The older boy asked though gritted teeth. Sean kissed up the side of Finn's neck and stopped at the ear, whispering hotly, "Inside. Come inside me."

Finn flew directly off the edge then, coming with Sean's name on his lips. His baby boy didn't last too much longer, Finn's cock spasming inside him made him moan brokenly and shoot his load between the two of them. It should have been disgusting but it was no where near it. It was warm and sexy and Finn couldn't help but move his hips a little more, their lips ghosting against each other as they rode out the rest of the orgasm.

When things got a little too sensitive, Sean slowly removed himself from Finn's length, just too fall beside him with a huff. "Did so good, baby." Finn cooed as he ran his fingers over Sean's thigh. The younger man hummed happily and nuzzled closer.

"At least we're not crying this time." Sean joked and Finn couldn't help but laugh.

~*~

Finn McNamara was many things. A close friend, an even closer lover, and a natural born liar. Except, he didn't have to lie anymore. Not to anyone and more importantly, not to himself. He was a young man in love and for the first time in his life, things made sense. Things were great and most importantly,

_safe._

**-The end**

**Author's Note:**

> This was so long, I know! I hope you enjoyed this despite the many typos that I know are there. At some point I will go through this and edit thoroughly, but I've been writing this since Finn was introduced as a romantic option so I've been ready for awhile now to post this. Here's another apology for putting Finn through so much, but I won't respond to any hate about it. Anyway! Thank you for reading.


End file.
